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Etiquettes of Eating
by Iman Bint Johari
I was doing some reading earlier and my mind strayed towards the topic of - well, what else since we are in Ramadhaan - food. This is a funny thing about the fasting month - we are to abstain from eating and drinking, among other things, but it seems that the more we refrain, the more it occupies our thoughts! We are consumed with planning our menus - for iftar, for suhoor and, even though it is a while away, `Eid!
There is nothing wrong with wanting to prepare a good meal for the family of course. We should ensure that we receive proper nutrition to keep up our strength for even more `ibadah during this blessed month. There is no sense in allowing oneself to become dehydrated or ill.
We just need to guard ourselves against going overboard. We should be careful that we do not become slaves to the kitchen, preparing overly elaborate meals which take up time that could otherwise be used in study and worship. We also must guard against overeating – it would be a shame if we were to undo the benefits of fasting by not just eating too much but by eating unhealthy foods. There is a saying of the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam that we need to bear in mind, "We are a people who do not eat until we are hungry. And if we eat, we do not eat to our fill."
Mealtimes can be a wonderful opportunity for bonding with the family. It is also an ideal time for us to teach the little ones the proper etiquettes of eating and drinking from the Qur`an and Sunnah.
Here are a few tips I have learnt in the past few days. I hope that you will find them useful.
[1] Eat only that which is halal and good
Allah says, "O you who believe. Eat of the lawful pure things that We have provided for you." [Surah al-Baqarah 2:172]
He also says, "So eat of the lawful and good food which Allah has provided for you, and thank the bounty of your Lord if it is Him you serve." [Surah an-Nahl 16:114]
And, "O you messengers! Eat of the good things, and do right. Lo! I am Aware of what you do." [Surah al-Mu'minoon 23:51]
We should ensure that our earnings are halal, for subsisting on haram sources cuts us off from the help of Allah. On authority of Abu Huraira radhiallahu `anhu, who reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. Allah has commanded the Faithful to do that which he commanded the Messengers, and the Almighty has said: "O ye Messengers! Eat of the good things, and do right." And Allah the Almighty has said: "O ye who believe! Eat of the good things wherewith We have provided you." Then he mentioned the case of a man who, having journeyed far, is disheveled and dusty and who spreads out his hands to the sky saying: "O Lord! O Lord!" while his food is unlawful, his drink unlawful, his clothing unlawful, and he is nourished unlawfully, so how can he be answered?" [Muslim]
[2] Say Bismillah before eating
Indeed, the pronouncement of Allah's Name brings barakah to a meal. `Aishah radhiallahu `anha reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "When any of you wants to eat, he should mention the name of Allah in the beginning (i.e., say Bismillah). If he forgets to do it in the beginning, he should say, 'Bismillah awwalahu wa akhirahu' (I begin with the Name of Allah at the beginning and at the end)." [At-Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud]
Similarly, the omission of mentioning His Name robs the meal of blessings. Jaabir radhiallahu `anhu reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam saying, "If a person mentions the Name of Allah upon entering the house or eating, Satan says, addressing his followers, 'You will find no where to spend the night and no dinner.' But if he enters without entering the Name of Allah, Satan says (to his followers), 'You have found (a place) to spend the night in' and if he does not mention the name of Allah at the time of eating, Satan says, 'You have found (a place) to spend the night in as well as food.'" [Muslim]
Here is another interesting narration - Umaiyyah bin Makshi radhiallahu `anhu said that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam was sitting while a man was eating food. That man did not mention the Name of Allah before commencing to eat till only a morsel of food was left. When he raised it to his mouth, he said, "Bismillah awwalahu wa akhirahu." The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam smiled at this and said, ""Shaytan had been eating with him but when he mentioned the Name of Allah, Shaytan vomited all that was in his stomach." [Abu DAwud & An-Nasa`i]
The fasting person can recite the du`aa that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said when he broke his fast: "The thirst has gone and the veins have recovered and the blessing is established if Allah wills (dhahaba dhamaa'a wabtallat al-urooq wa thabatal ajr inshaa'allaah)." [Ahmad, Al-Baihaaqee]
[3] Praise Allah after the meal
Abu Umamah radhiallahu `anhu reported: Whenever the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam finished a meal, he would say, "Al-hamdu lillahi kathiran taiyiban mubarakah fihi, ghaira makfiyyin wa la mu wadda`in, wa la mustaghnan `anhu Rabbuna. (All praise is due to Allah, praise which is abundant pure and full of blessings which is indispensable and to which one cannot be indifferent.)" [al-Bukhari]
Mu`adh bin Anas radhialahu `anhu reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "He who has taken food and says at the end, 'Al-hamdu lillahi-lladhi at`amani hadha, wa razaqanihi min ghairi haulin minni wa la quwwatin (All praise is due to Allah Who has given me food to eat and provided it without any endeavour on my part or any power)', all his past sins will be forgiven." [at-Tirmidhi]
Look at the Mercy of Allah – we do not just earn blessings by thanking Him after eating, we also earn forgiveness for our minor sins!
[4] Eat with our right hands
Salamah bin Al-Akwa` radhiallahu `ahu reported on the authority of his father: A man ate with his left hand in the presence of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, whereupon he said, "Eat with your right hand." The man said, "I cannot do that." Thereupon, he, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "May you not be able to do that." It was vanity that prevented him from doing it and he could not raise it (the right hand) up to his mouth afterwards. [Muslim]
[5] Eat what is in front of us
`Umar ibn Abi Salamah radhiallahu `anhu reported: I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam and as my hand used to wander around in the dish, he said to me once, "Mention Allah's name (i.e., say 'Bismillah'), eat with your right hand and eat from what is in front of you." [al-Bukhari & Muslim]
[6] Do not find fault with the food
It is indeed a appalling that we criticize food or worse, kick up a fuss when a dish is not to our liking. This is a grievous wrong for in so doing, we are not only hurting the feelings of the one who prepared the food, but also not showing due gratitude to Allah who has provided us with sustenance!
Look at our role model - Abu Hurairah radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam never found fault with food. If he had inclination to eating it, he would eat; and if he disliked it, he would leave it. [al-Bukhari & Muslim]
Furthermore, the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam practiced simplicity in every aspect of his life, including his diet. He accepted what was available without complaint. Jabir radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam asked for sauce and was told that there was nothing except vinegar. He asked for it and began to eat from it saying, "How excellent is vinegar when eaten as a sauce! How excellent is vinegar when eaten as Udm!" [Muslim]
[7] Eat with three fingers and lick them after the meal
Ka`b bin Malik radhiallahu `anhu reported: I saw the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam eating with 3 fingers (i.e., the thumb, the index and middle fingers) and licking them after having finished the food." [Muslim] It is bad manners to stuff one's mouth greedily. We can thus see the wisdom behind eating with only three fingers.
In addition, we should not waste our food – Jabir radhiallah `anhu said that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa salllam commanded the licking of fingers and the gleaning of the dish, saying, "You do not know in which portion the blessing lies." [Muslim]
[8] Eat from the side of the dish
Ibn `Abbas radhiallahu `anhuma reported that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "Blessing descends upon food in its middle so eat from the sides of the vessel and do not eat from the middle." [at-Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud]
[9] Mind our posture
We should not stand while eating for Anas radhiallahu `anhu said that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam forbade a person to drink while standing. When asked about eating, he said, "That is even worse." [Muslim]
We should also not eat in a reclining position - Abu Juhaifah Wahb bin `Abdullah radhiallahu `anhu said that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam stated, "I do not eat reclining (against a pillow)." [al-Bukhari]
Ibn Hajr says that one should sit with the right knee drawn up and the left one bent down. Indeed the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam would often sit as though he were about to move on to attend to more important affairs.
[10] Pick up food that has fallen
Jabir radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "When a morsel of any of you falls, he should pick it up and remove any of the dirt on it and then eat it, and should not leave it for Satan nor should he wipe his hands with his towel till he has licked his fingers for he does not know in what portion of the food the blessing lies." [Muslim]
We must always be on our guard against shaytan, even at meal times. Not only should we recite the Name of Allah at the commencement of meals, we should not leave even a morsel for the shaytan and his allies to share.
[11] Drink slowly in three gulps and do not breathe into the vessel
Most of us probably feel thirst most acutely while fasting and so when the time comes for iftar, we head first for the drinks. Ibn `Abbas radhiallahu `anhuma said that the Messenger of Allah advised, "Do not drink in one gulp like a camel but in two or three (gulps). Mention the Name of Allah when you start drinking and praise Him after you have finished." [at-Tirmidhi]
In another hadeeth, a man said that he was not quenched after one draught and the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam told him to put the cup away from his mouth in between three gulps and to take a breath.
Abu Qatadah radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam forbade breathing into the vessel while drinking. [al-Bukhari & Muslim]
[12] Eat together
There is a great deal of merit in sharing food – it increases mutual love for the sake of Allah and brings about the blessings of Allah. Jabir bin Abdullah radhiallahu `anhu said that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam stated, "The food of one person suffices for two, the food of two persons suffices for four persons, and the food of four persons suffices for eight persons." [Muslim]
Wahshi bin Harb radhiallahu `anhu reported: Some of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "We eat but are not satisfied." He said, "Perhaps you eat separately." The Companions replied in the affirmative. He then said, "Eat together and mention the name of Allah over your food. It will be blessed for you." [Abu Dawud]
[13] Be considerate to others
We should not be concerned with filling our own plate. Rather, we should show due regard to others sharing the meal. Jabalah bin Suhaim reported: We were with `Abdullah bin az-Zubair radhiallahu `anhuma in a time of famine, then we were provided with dates. (Once) when we were eating, `Abdullah bin `Umar radhiallahu `anhuma passed by us and said, "Do not eat two dates together for the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam prohibited it unless one seeks permission from his brother (partner)." [al-Bukhari & Muslim]
[14] Do not eat to your fill
The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, "A human being has not filled any vessel which is worse than a belly. Enough for the son of Adam are some mouthfuls that can keep his back straight, but if there is no escape, he should fill it a third with food, a third with drink and a third empty." [at-Tirmidhi]
[15] Hasten to break the fast
Sahl Ibn Sa'ad said that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "My nation would continue to be on my Sunnah as long as they do not wait for the stars to come out before breaking the fast." [Ibn Hibbaan]
Hastening the breaking of the fast is a way to he different from those who are astray and those who have earned Allah's wrath. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "The Deen will be uppermost/manifest as long as the people hasten to break their fast because the Jews and the Christians delay (it)." [Abu Dawood & Ibn Hibbaan]
[16] Partake in suhoor
Some people avoid taking suhoor perhaps because they find it a chore to wake up early and to prepare the food. It is a shame because it is a blessed meal.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "Indeed Allah placed blessing in the Suhoor and in the weighing [of grain]." [Shirazi and al-Khateeb/al-Jami`us-Sagheer; Hasan]
Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "Eat Suhoor, for there are blessings in it." [al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Salman also reported that the Prophet said: "Blessing is in three: the Jama`a, the Thareed and the Suhoor." [Tabarani and Abu Nu`aim; Hasan]
A companion said: "I entered upon the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam and he was taking the Suhoor and he said: "It is a blessing which Allah has given to you, so do not leave it." [Ahmad and an-Nasa'i; Sahih].
Abud-Dardaa' reported that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "Come to the blessed morning meal (meaning the Suhoor)." [Ahmad, an-Nasa`i and Abu Dawood].
Allah covers those who have suhoor with His Mercy. Furthermore the angels pray for their forgiveness. Abu Said al-Khudri said: The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "The Suhoor is a meal of blessings, so do not leave it, even if one of you just takes a gulp of water, since Allah sends mercy and His angels seek forgiveness for those who take Suhoor." [Ahmad and Ibn Abi Shaibah]
[17] Delay the Suhoor
The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "Hasten the breaking of the fast and delay the Suhoor." [Sahih al-Jami`]
Zaid ibn Thabit reported: "We ate Suhoor with the Messenger of Allah and then we got up for the prayer. He was asked: 'What was the amount of time between the two?' He responded: '[The time it would take to recite] fifty ayat."' [al-Bukhari and Muslim]
'Amr ibn Maimun adds: "The companions of Muhammad sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, would be the first to break the fast and the last to eat their Suhoor." [al-Baihaqi, Abdur-Razzaq and al-Haithami; Sahih]
The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "We, the Prophets, have been ordered to hasten breaking the fast, delay the Suhoor, and to put our right hand on the left one in prayer." [Sahih al-Jami`]
May Allah accept our `ibadah and du`aa... ameen.