Good times, alhamdulillah.

I haven’t given up on this blog. I had contemplated taking it all down considering I don’t update it as often as I could or should. When I do, my posts are hardly what you would call witty or earth-shaking. I think I will hold on to it for a bit more, though. I’ve had it for a while now and I suppose, it has some sentimental value.

I had not wanted to move to Pakistan this time - I had built a life in Singapore. We had our family and friends, favourite haunts, activities and a cosy place we felt was home. I fully understood the wisdom behind moving and even suggested it long before we were actually compelled to. Still, in my heart of hearts, I wished to remain in Singapore.

I had all sorts of reasons to detest life in Pakistan - the weather wreaks havoc on my health… there is no public transport … there is nowhere to go even if there were public transport… it is inefficient… it isn’t clean… people keep asking me why my kids don’t go to school and treat us as oddities… the kids don’t really have friends here… there ISN’T ANYTHING TO DO!

The funny thing is, relocating to Pakistan for the second time wasn’t all that difficult… rather like slipping into a pair of comfortable old shoes that have grown on me over time. I’ve always told my kids to make du`aa to Allah in good times and bad and alhamdulillah, Allah always gives us what we need when we need it. We asked for friends and alhamdulillah, we were blessed to meet two homeschooling families, a crafting wiz whom my kids delightedly call Knitting Aunty and a sweet sister from Karachi. We dreaded ennui and tedium and alhamdulillah, Allah saved us with an abundant supply of books as well as karate classes which the children love.

I’ve adjusted well enough to finally take my crafting stash out and work on a few projects:

Mended - Ms M’s jeans

I finally patched Ms M’s raggedy jeans. A piece of fabric from my stash, fusible buckram and embroidery floss and we were good to go. Not bad considering I am completely rubbish at sewing!

Choti #2

Last year, I hand-sewed a rag doll for Bear whom we named Choti. She was a cheeky creature and the poor thing was awfully wonky, as most of my endeavours turn out. Still, the kids loved her and brought her just about everywhere they went. On one occasion, a little girl they met at the library took a fancy to Choti. She refused to leave, causing her mum much distress. The girls very kindly gave her Choti. Since then they have begged for a replacement so here is Choti No. 2 in progress.

I still miss Singapore and would probably always prefer it to Pakistan but I think I can concede that I now have two homes and I am more than grateful for both.

I complain like anything about Pakistan :P

I attack:

• its dustiness - “I’ve only JUST mopped and my feet are gritty AGAIN!!!”
• the fact that I can’t go out much - why oh why doesn’t Islamabad have the MRT^*?
• the drivers - why are they always in a rush? I KNOW they know there’s nothing important they have to get to. My sister-in-law says, “Oh but Bhabhi, they HAVE to rush so they can get home and do nothing.” (She is Pakistani… she can say this, OK?)
• the lack of safety - you read the news… you figure this out…

But… and yes, I say this quite grudgingly… it isn’t so bad here. Yes, there is more poverty than your heart can possibly bear sometimes and there are so many conveniences which I’ve grown accustomed to that I’ve had to forego.

Still, I find that this place keeps me grounded. The people I have met are supremely kind, friendly and sincere, so much so I am often ashamed of my cynical ways and acerbic jibes.

Here, I am reminded of how fragile life is, how hard life can be for many people who live and die poor and without hope, how courageous some people are in the face of struggle and most of all, how very very fortunate I am.

The power went out earlier today (load shedding - the first of many). I was about to get very grumpy when I remembered that last winter, we always took out our sewing when the electricity was down. We’ve brought quite a stash from Singapore. (Ignore the fact that I am rubbish at photography OK?) Just seeing the colourful fabrics and threads made our day :) Alhamdulillah for little blessings.

So, I’ll try to keep busy and to remind myself that I really have it good. :)

* MRT - Mass Rapid Transit … the train/subway in Singapore

I think it is officially winter in Islamabad. We have awakened to cold, dreary mornings for two days in a row and we have been without our craft-while-we-sunbathe on the terrace for three.

Winters in Pakistan are a huge challenge… why?

• You get none of the pretty snow… just lots of cloud, cold air and rain. It is just as well given the amount of dust in this country. Any snow would start looking like grey sludge anyway!
• The houses are built to dispel heat (this country of extremes has sweltering summers, did I mention that?) so you have to contend with bone-chilling drafts. If you have asthma like I do, get your inhalers ready.
• There is no central heating system in most houses. Since electricity is expensive, gas heaters are the norm… they do get you warm and toasty, but you can’t leave them on for extended periods as you might run the risk of suffocation…
• You get huge amounts of laundry and mess what with the sweaters, jackets, thermal garments and such that get trotted out with the onset of the cold season. Since the sun is hardly ever out, they will either (a) end up smelling musty because they take forever to dry or (b) end up smelling smoky because you put them in front of the gas heaters to combat (a).

But ‘nuf said. It isn’t all bad here… We have it better than most, alhamdulillah. In terms of economics, this is also a country of extremes and I don’t have to remind myself of those worse off because they are around all the time.

So… I am not going to RESIGN myself to being content. I will make it a PRIORITY to celebrate the positive aspects of Pakistan :)

So here are the good things about life in Isloo…

• The cold makes pink tea all the more satisfying. If you don’t know what pink tea is, you have been seriously deprived! It is a brew of Kashmiri tea leaves and fragrant spices that has simmered for ages till it is attains a gorgeous deep colour and flavour. Add some milk, crushed almonds and sugar and you have just about the most delicious beverage this continent has produced.
• Load shedding… what’s that you say? Well, it is the monitoring of electric usage and shutting down certain electric loads or devices a certain threshold is reached/approached. Sounds a mouthful but for the common man, it just means “no electricity”. Wait a minute, you might say, how is that good? It took me a while to get used to it but it has really taught me to focus on the simpler things in life. When my elder daughter, Ms M, experienced her first power shutdown, she ran out of the house and delightedly yelled, “Look at the stars, Ummi. Look at the STARS!” We’ve learnt to slow down and to not rely on electronic gadgets too much. When we get load shedding in the day, we take our embroidery out and sit by the window or terrace. When it happens at night, we take the torches out and just enjoy each other’s company. Rather idyllic, I like to think :)
• Fabrics… this country is teeming with fabrics. In winter you get lovely karandi - a textured cloth much like linen - and in summer, vibrant lawns. There are beads, sequins, laces and ric rac galore! If you are a compulsive crafter like me, Pakistan is a great stop for supplies.
• Second-hand bookstores… I have found award-winning titles, encyclopaedias and lovely craft-books and magazines going for a song. If you are ever in F6 or F7, you will find me - fingers and abaya covered in dust - rummaging through the heaps of old books.

I could go on with this blog post, but I have more pressing matters to attend to… like my stitchery and my cup of… what else? … chai :)

Today seemed like an ordinary day. The heat and humidity were oppressive and since my husband is away, I was destined to spend yet another day at home. I did a mountain of laundry, horsed around with the children, read till I was hoarse and napped.

I woke up feeling disgruntled that the day had been boring… uneventful.

Less than two hours later, while having dinner, we heard a loud blast. A bomb had exploded at a site where a lawyers’ rally was to have taken place. This was at a market that we frequent, less than five minutes away from our home. Sixteen people have been killed and more than 40 injured by the suicide bomber.

This and recent events in the country have left us deeply saddened.

You know, when your two-year-old is happy her uncle has returned home safely saying words, which she understands completely, “There was a bomb over there!”, you suddenly realise that uneventful is not something so bad after all.

It has been a while since I’ve been tagged… and I know this sounds sad, but I actually LIKE being tagged just because it makes me feel somewhat important :P

OK, Umm Junayd has asked me what my 10 simple pleasures are so here goes, in no particular order… because, that’s how I am and how my life is - no particular order! *S*

1. Getting warm and snuggly, deep and duggly with the kids and reading piles and piles of books

2. Listening to Ms M practise and recite the Qur’an

3. Getting hugs from Bear - she knows how to hug “porpurly”

4. Tea

5. Books

6. Having enough and not worrying about our basic needs

7. My stash of Islamic material

8. My sight and hearing - why do I not use it to read the Qur’an and more beneficial things?

9. Being strong and healthy enough to care for my children

10. My laptop

I really want to add Hama beads :P but as it is I cheated on number 8 by adding two blessings in one… hehe…

Alhamdulillah… Forgive me Allah for not appreciating all these blessings and more…

I don’t know if you ladies are reading, but if you are, consider yourselves tagged:

• Duckie - I think this will help you get out of your blue funk eh? Nothing like remembering Allah’s blessings :)
• Ms Paradigm of Idiosyncrasies - just because I like reading what you have to say!
• Umm Muhammad - cos you need to update your blog anyway :P

I’ve relocated many times since I got married four years ago. I was born and bred in Singapore. Then I moved to Indiana, after which I lived in Wisconsin for a spell before returning to Singapore for 2 years. We were finally able to afford to buy our own apartment and I actually began to entertain thoughts of being ’settled’, but it was not meant to be. We had to move again and this time to Islamabad, Pakistan.

Relocating was exhausting, physically and emotionally. It meant leaving my comfort zone, family, friends, comfortable routines and familiar surroundings. There were times when being in a new place made me feel ungrounded. I had to learn new rules, make new friends and this overwhelmed and frustrated me many many times.

Still, I feel that I’ve gained tremendously from these challenges. Each time I have shifted to a new place, the experience has been enriching.

Moving and the initial isolation of being in new lands allowed me to rethink my life. I have come to the conclusion that the possibilities are endless and it is a liberating thought. Back in Singapore, I used to dream about breaking away and reinventing myself because I felt bogged down by my past and all the mistakes and regret that came with it.

Relocating helped me do just that - I was able to dump all that weighty old baggage and script and start anew. There was no one to judge me, no one to doubt me and no one to rain on my parade. I was charting a new course on a fresh slate and the very idea was exciting - it was all about exploring unchartered territories and discovering beautiful surprises.

Moving has also helped me realise how this life itself is a journey. The Qur’an tells us, “What is the life of this world but play and amusement? But best is the home in the hereafter, for those who are righteous. Will you not then understand?” (Surah Al-An’am 6:32)

I’ve learnt to slow down, to stop accumulating and to instead try to focus on my ultimate destination. Each time I feel disgruntled about the things I cannot have or have had to leave behind, I remind myself of the Messenger of Allah . He had but a rough mat to sleep on and when Ibn `Abbas radhiallahu `anhu saw its markings on his body, he suggested that the Prophet sleep on something more comfortable. He, , replied, “What do I have to do with this worldly life? I and this worldly life are but like a traveler who stopped for a little while under a tree to get some shade and then move on.”

So, I’ve learnt not to get too attached to things because the best things in life are NOT things.

I’ve also learnt that relationships CAN endure the tests of time and distance.

Best of all, I know now that home isn’t necessarily a physical structure or location - those are just props. Home is where there is love, joy and really, it’s just geography…

The Little Things That Make Me Say “Alhamdulillah”

• Islam
• Pizza
• My mum… she is the best
• My dad… I miss him lots
• Mak’s Place Butter Calamaris
• Ms Muffet
• My Bear - Cookie
• My beautiful sister who has a heart of gold
• My quirky and generous brother
• Health
• My cool husband
• My very nice in-laws
• Pink tea on a cold winter’s day… made by my very nice mom-in-law *S*
• Books
• Chocolate
• Autumn
• Home… wherever it may be
• Rayyan’s Fried Chicken
• Tea sweetened with condensed milk … whenever!
• Cool water
• My lovely cousins and their sweet kids who fuss over Ms Muffet
• My five senses
• Quiet moments after Fajr prayers
• French fries
• Friends I can natter with for hours on end… you know who you are
• Ramadhan
• Inspiration about Jannah that give me hope
• Reminders about An-Naar that keep me focused
• Youth
• Chilli sauce
• Love for the sake of Allah
• Fresh, cool breezes
• Sweet kinoo in winter
• The vibrant colours of nature
• Peace that Allah gives after dhikr & salaat
• My computer & broadband internet
• Berry honey
• Islamic lectures that touch you to the core
• Sea food
• Makkah & Madeenah
• Second-hand bookstores
• Meals with good company
• Sleep
• Black seed
• Ease after pain and hardship