I like listening to stories… the longer the better. :) One of the things that I hope to do in shaa Allah is to retell stories from the Qur’an, Hadeeth and other books of Islamic history to Marz. We have to take the cue from Islam’s rich oral history to know that lessons, stories and poetry, however complex can inspire and endure.

I spoke about the cuddle factor earlier. When we take the time to sit with our children and make the effort to make the stories mesmerizing, we are really creating a loving atmosphere… we are bonding with them and telling them that they matter.

Storytelling can be a wonderfully creative experience for both the storyteller and the listener. The narrator does have a challenging task – she would need to find or create stories that BEG to be told and then weave a web of delight through powerful language and colourful expressions.

The listener learns about the joy of making inner journeys – there is no limit as to where her imagination can take her. She learns how words can move. She learns how listening is important. She learns to read into details and to look for subtle cues and nuances. In short, she learns about the art of communication.

I am still new at this, but the little I have done has inspired me. In shaa Allah I’ll try to include some Islamic stories here that you can try with your kids – one I’ve started with is The Leper, the Bald Man & the Blind Man from Sahih al-Bukhari.

Get comfy… snuggle up with your kid and let the story transport you…

This is a profound story that can be easily told to the young ones. Remind your listeners that there is no one superior to another except in terms of taqwa (piety).

Allah says (transl.): “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has al-taqwa (i.e., is one of the muttaqoon/the pious). Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [al-Hujurat 49:13]

The Messenger of Allah also said in his famous sermon: “O people, your Lord is One and your father [i.e., Adam] is one. There is no superiority of the Arab over the non-Arab, or of the non-Arab over the Arab, or of the red over the black, or of the black over the red ““ except with regard to taqwa.” (Reported by Imam Ahmad)

The Leper, the Bald Man & the Blind Man

Narrated Abu Huraira, that he heard Rasulullah saying:

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala willed to test three who were a leper, a blind man and a bald-headed man.

So, He sent them an angel who came to the leper and said, “What thing do you like most?” He replied, “Good color and good skin, for the people have a strong aversion to me.”

The angel touched him and his illness was cured, and he was given a good color and beautiful skin.

The angel asked him, “What kind of property do you like best?” He replied, “Camels (or cows).” (The narrator is in doubt, for either the leper or the bald-headed man demanded camels and the other demanded cows.) So he (i.e. the leper) was given a pregnant she-camel, and the angel said (to him), “May Allah bless you in it.”

The angel then went to the bald-headed man and said, “What thing do you like most?” He said, “I like good hair and wish to be cured of this disease, for the people feel repulsion for me.”

The angel touched him and his illness was cured, and he was given good hair. The angel asked (him), “What kind of property do you like best?” He replied, “Cows.” The angel gave him a pregnant cow and said, “May Allah bless you in it.”

The angel went to the blind man and asked, ‘What thing do you like best?’ He said, “(I like) that Allah may restore my eye-sight to me so that I may see the people.”

The angel touched his eyes and Allah gave him back his eye-sight. The angel asked him, “What kind of property do you like best?” He replied, “Sheep.” The angel gave him a pregnant sheep.

Afterwards, all the three pregnant animals gave birth to young ones, and multiplied and brought forth so much that one of the (three) men had a herd of camels filling a valley, and one had a herd of cows filling a valley, and one had a flock of sheep filling a valley.

Then the angel, disguised in the shape and appearance of a leper, went to the leper and said, “I am a poor man, who has lost all means of livelihood while on a journey. So none will satisfy my need except Allah and then you. In the Name of Him Who has given you such nice color and beautiful skin, and so much property, I ask you to give me a camel so that I may reach my destination.”

The man replied, “I have many obligations (so I cannot give you).”

The angel said, “I think I know you; were you not a leper to whom the people had a strong aversion? Were you not a poor man, and then Allah gave you (all this property)?”

He replied, “(This is all wrong), I got this property through inheritance from my fore-fathers.”

The angel said, “If you are telling a lie, then let Allah make you as you were before.”

Then the angel, disguised in the shape and appearance of a bald man, went to the bald man and said to him the same as he told the first one, and he too answered the same as the first one did. The angel said, “If you are telling a lie, then let Allah make you as you were before.”

The angel, disguised in the shape of a blind man, went to the blind man and said, “I am a poor man and a traveler, whose means of livelihood have been exhausted while on a journey. I have nobody to help me except Allah, and after Him, you yourself. I ask you in the Name of Him Who has given you back your eye-sight to give me a sheep, so that with its help, I may complete my journey.”

The man said, “No doubt, I was blind and Allah gave me back my eye-sight; I was poor and Allah made me rich; so take anything you wish from my property. By Allah, I will not stop you for taking anything (you need) of my property which you may take for Allah’s sake.” The angel replied, “Keep your property with you. You (i.e., the three men) have been tested and Allah is pleased with you and is angry with your two companions.”

I don’t normally like posting things that I receive from mailing lists but this seems quite interesting and would make a good lesson for kids too.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they had gotten soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma, and then asked, “What’s the point, Mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water – but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I?

• Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
• Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
• Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?

I have been struggling to loosen up. It sounds funny coming from an easy-going person like me. I am usually not one to get too intense about time management, schedules and goals, but when it comes to Marz’s schooling, I seem to have taken on a completely different personality! I’ve become a stickler for deadlines, a fusspot for details and, I hate to admit it, a complete ogre who may be killing any enthusiasm my child has for learning.

I’ve learnt in the past couple of weeks that it is crucial that I make space for Marz. I have to make room for her foibles just as she has to take my many weaknesses and mistakes in stride. She may not do things to MY standards, but then, she should not have to. My job is not to create a genius (OK, I do admit, I LIKE the idea) but to give her plenty of encouragement and opportunities to grow and to develop a passion for knowledge.

So… I don’t wince when she messes up the paints simply because “it is nice to MIX them ALL UP”. I no longer grimace when she colours outside the lines. I won’t tell her bears must be brown or black and not “multi-coloured”.

There are times when I fret and wonder why something so simple takes on gargantuan proportions to her. Then I remember… patience. Bearing in mind that mistakes are inevitable makes this arduous journey so much easier and pleasant. I’ve had thirty-something years of living. She’s just starting out. I should celebrate her accomplishments, not her hiccups.

I need to cut her some slack.

I read these ahadeeth yesterday and truly, they shamed me. How many times have I been in a hurry to complete my chores and placed my child last on my list of priorities? How many times have I forgotten to just STOP and BE THERE for my child?

Well, now is always a good time to change. Must go and colour some pictures with Marz!

And hey, give your kids a hug and kiss… just because, you hear?

• Anas radhiallahu `anhu said: “I have never seen a man more kind with children than the Prophet .” (Muslim) Anas also said: “The Prophet had the sharpest sense of humor with children.”
• The Prophet exhorted justice when he said: “Allah likes that you be just with your children as He likes that you be just among your own selves.” (Al-Daraqutni)
• It was reported from “`A’ishah that the Prophet kissed Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain, the sons of “˜Ali radhiallahu `anhu while Al-Aqra’ bin Habis Al-Taimi was in his audience. Al-Aqra’ said: “I have ten children, none of whom I have ever kissed.” The Prophet looked at him and said: “Those who do not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy.”
• “`A’ishah radhiallahu `anha narrated: A Bedouin came to the Messenger of Allah and said: “You kiss your children, while we do not kiss them.” The Messenger of Allah said: “I can not help that Allah has removed mercy from your heart.”
• It was reported by At-Tirmidhi and others on the authority of “`Abdullah bin Buraidah from his father (radhiallahu `anhuma) who said: I saw the Messenger of Allah while he was delivering a sermon. Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain radhiallahu `anhuma came wearing red garments and stumbling while walking. The Prophet descended Al Minbar (the pulpit) and carried them and put them in front of him. He then said: “Your property and children are only a trial. I saw these two boys stumbling in their walk and could not help stopping my sermon and raising them.”
• Al-Nasa’i and Al-Hakim narrated: While the Prophet was leading people in Prayer, Al-Hussain came and rode on his neck while he was prostrating himself. The Prophet prolonged prostration, until they (the worshipers) thought there was something wrong. When Prayer finished, the people said: “You prolonged prostration, O Messenger of Allah, until we thought that there was something wrong with you.” He replied: “My son rode on me i.e. rode on my back, and I disliked to disturb him until he satisfies himself (and gets down).”
• It was narrated in Al-Isabaah that “the Prophet was of the habit of playing with Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain radhiallahu `anhuma, walking on his hands and knees while they both clung to him from both sides, and saying to them: “What a good camel you have and what a good camel-riders you are.”
• It was narrated in Bukhari and Muslim after Anas radhiallahu `anhu that the Prophet said: “I enter into Prayer intending to prolong it, but when I hear a baby crying, I shorten it, as I know how his mother is anxious about his crying.”