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What I Really Wanted to Tell You

March 4, 2004 by Imaan No Comments

As salaamu `alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Dear Shabeel and Shazana…

It was very hard for me to go to your home last Monday. I had not met your mother in a long while… The last time I did, you were just a baby, Shabeel. Shazana, you had not even been born yet. It wasn’t that your mother and I had quarrelled or anything of the sort – we had been good friends in junior college and university. I don’t know why we didn’t try to stay in touch… I guess I will just have to use the same reason which everyone else uses and which I am sure you find difficult to understand – we just got busy.

I did not manage to talk to you the other day – there were just too many people around. I don’t think that you were up for any conversation anyway. I just want you both to know that I am very sorry about your father’s passing. It was a big shock to me and I am sure that you are still trying to come to terms with it.

When I saw you crying as you left your father, it brought back memories of when my father passed away about a year ago. I never thought that anything could hurt so much and I was sure that I would never get over it. That is not entirely true, though. You don’t get over it – how can you ever forget someone you love? You can’t – but the pain does ease with time and you learn to think about the warm and wonderful memories you had.

You know, it is OK to feel sad and it is OK to cry. The Prophet, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, wept on the death of his son, Ibrahim, and said: “The eyes shed tears and the heart feels pain, but we utter only what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim! We are aggrieved at your demise.” So we cry but we also remember to have faith in Allah and what He has decreed.

You see, Shabeel and Shazana, we think of our souls, families and wealth as “ours”. So when the things and people we love are gone, we feel sad. The truth is, they do not belong to us – they belong to Allah. He gave them to us as a loan. So we must be grateful while we have these blessings and be patient when He takes them back.

Remember that the Qur’an tells us that Allah is with those who are patient – “O you who believe! Seek Help in Patience and Salaah. Truly, Allah is with those that are patient.” [Qur’an 2:153]

Allah has not one but THREE big rewards for those who are patient – He has promised His prayer for them, His Mercy, and their guidance: “Who, when afflicted with calamity say, ‘Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return…’ They are those on whom the Salawat (the blessing and forgiveness) of their Lord is upon them, and who shall receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.” [Qur’an 2:157] Now, isn’t that wonderful? Allah sometimes tests us but He will always give us something better in return.

Shabeel, you are now the man in your family. You need to take care of your mother and younger brother and sister. Shazana, you will need to be your mother’s partner and help her in every way you can. She will have a lot to deal with now and she will count on you doing your best in school and at home.

I know you will miss your father very much. I still think about my father too and sometimes I don’t want to because it hurts too much. I know that you and your father shared a very special relationship. It sounds funny when I say this but truthfully, it doesn’t have to end.

There is still so much you can do for your father. The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.”

Remember that YOU are sadaqah jariyah for your father – he will receive a share of the rewards for all the good that you do.

You must also always make du`aa for him because your prayers can help him enter Paradise. The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du`aas (prayers) for forgiveness for you.'”

My good friend Sadiqa shared some comforting words with me when my father passed away. I would like to now tell you the same thing that she told me. Don’t think of your father as “gone” or “lost” – this separation is temporary, just like everything in this world. Think of him as waiting for you in another room. On the day of Judgement, you will be reunited with him and inshaa Allah you will all walk into Jannah together.

Shabeel and Shazana, please know that you are in my du`aa … May Allah keep you safe and well always ameen.

Much love
Aunty Imaan

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Yesterday, I had a sobering chat with my friend wh Yesterday, I had a sobering chat with my friend who is a member of a minority group here. (I am keeping things vague for her safety and mine.) She has a relative who is also a friend of mine. 

In both my early encounters with them, I’d always sensed an air of reserve and secrecy. I understood that we had different beliefs, but I could not understand what I perceived as fear. Not being a native here in Pakistan, I’d had my share of bewildering and unfathomable encounters, so I’d left things at that. Maybe I’d understand in time to come, I thought.

They had always been very kind to me and I tried to reciprocate as best I could. For all our (acknowledged) differences in opinion and belief, we found some common ground and focused on doing some good. My friend’s relative donated science kits as well as books for my homeschooling gang and I’ll always be grateful for that. 

I read news yesterday about how my friend and her people do in fact live in danger. She told me how she fears for her husband’s life every single time he leaves home. She jumps every single time her doorbell rings. She worries about sending her daughter to school for fear of bullying or worse… Target killings of her people are a reality.

It made me feel so ashamed because this is tragic and downright disgraceful for any country, but even more so for a Muslim one. 

It’s OK to disagree. It’s OK to debate. It is NOT OK to terrorize and it is NOT OK resort to violence. It is wrong and it is unjust and it is EVIL to do so. When dealing with people of different beliefs, can we not be civilised? Can we not be HUMAN? Can we not behave the way our deen taught us? 

We need to find a way to make things better. It is not right to allow people who know precious little about Islam to desecrate it. 

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#islam #minorityrights #knowyourreligion #pakistan
Journalists say this time it is different. Rushdi Journalists say this time it is different.

Rushdi as-Sarraj, Yasser Murtaja’s friend, told Al-Jazeera, “This task is difficult under normal circumstances, so you can imagine working under a fierce offensive that does not distinguish between a journalist, a civilian or a military leader.” Israel is working hard “to silence the image and voice, and to ban any news or information that exposes its crimes”.

He also says, “My family doesn’t stop calling me, fearing that I could be harmed. It is an endless circle of fear and exhaustion. But we must continue sharing our message.”

Praying for Muna El-Kurd @muna.kurd15 , her brother @mohammedelkurd and all the journalists putting out the truth. 

#palestine #freepalestine #freemunakurd #freemunaelkurd #savesheikhjarrah #savesilwan #savelifta #savemohammedelkurd
«THROWBACK, Summer + Winter 2019» «We returned «THROWBACK, Summer + Winter 2019»

«We returned to the park after the lockdown earlier this year… sadly our tree for all seasons is no more 😢»

FOREIGN LANDS by Robert Louis Stevenson
Up into the cherry tree
Who should climb but little me?
I held the trunk with both my hands
And looked abroad on foreign lands.
I saw the next door garden lie,
Adorned with flowers, before my eye,
And many pleasant places more
That I had never seen before.
If I could find a higher tree
Farther and farther I should see,
To where the grown-up river slips
Into the sea among the ships.
To where the roads on either hand
Lead onward into fairy land,
Where all the children dine at five,
And all the playthings come alive.
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#throwback #pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #naturejournal #science #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers
A couple of you asked me to make a post of my stor A couple of you asked me to make a post of my story in response to LV’s despicable use of the keffiyeh design. Pictures in this post are from hirbawi.ps and @palestine.pixel … 

EDIT: yes, my second slide should have been edited and it is bugging me. I repeated 1930s… sorry! If you want a more polished version, DM me. You get my meaning anyway, right? 
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#palestine #freepalestine #keffiyeh #gaza #jerusalem #savesheikhjarrah
«YET ANOTHER THROWBACK, Jan. 2020» I was feelin «YET ANOTHER THROWBACK, Jan. 2020»

I was feeling a little out of sorts (again) – I’d left the house a mess (again) and the boy and I were in a rush to get to the Art Co-op. Habiba @ourlivinghomeschool was doing a session on Wassily Kandinsky that day. 

We were delayed by a massive traffic jam and our stress levels rocketed when an obnoxious motorist kept sounding his horn repeatedly as if to shoo other cars out of the way. What was everyone else to do but wait for the jam to ease? 

We made it just in time though…barely! As we ran towards the gathering, it was as if a huge weight was lifted away. This gorgeous view greeted the boy and me, alhamdulillah. When we got down to studying Kandinsky, we felt more than fine.

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#pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #desidiaries #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers #artcoop #artoutdoors
«THROWBACK, Mar. 2019» Once upon a time before «THROWBACK, Mar. 2019» 
Once upon a time before Covid.

The calm before…

We had our Monday meet up again at Fatima Jinnah Park. The air was cool and crisp and the skies sunny when the nature gang got together. Then, it was on to a jolly game of Simon Says – Katelynn’s @_k8erpotater clever way of teaching the kids about body parts and how they move.

The kids did their usual tree climbing and exploring. Then, the dark clouds started rolling in. We took a while to decide whether or not to leave – the park literally looked dark and ominous on one side and cheery and bright on the other. We only started rushing for home when lightning split the sky. The kids were not to be hurried, however. They felt little pellets hitting them and stopped to investigate… hailstones!

Our ramble was cut short and I got cold and wet, but I think it was a gorgeous day. We got to learn about nature in a very real way.
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#pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #naturejournal #science #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers
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