The Little Things That Make Me Say “Alhamdulillah”

• Islam
• Pizza
• My mum… she is the best
• My dad… I miss him lots
• Mak’s Place Butter Calamaris
• Marz
• Bear
• My beautiful sister who has a heart of gold
• My quirky and generous brother
• Health
• My cool husband
• My very nice in-laws
• Pink tea on a cold winter’s day… made by my very nice mom-in-law :)
• Books
• Chocolate
• Autumn
• Home… wherever it may be
• Rayyan’s Fried Chicken
• Tea sweetened with condensed milk … whenever!
• Cool water
• My lovely cousins and their sweet kids who fuss over mine
• My five senses
• Quiet moments after Fajr prayers
• French fries
• Friends I can natter with for hours on end… you know who you are
• Ramadhan
• Inspiration about Jannah that give me hope
• Reminders about An-Naar that keep me focused
• Youth
• Chilli sauce
• Love for the sake of Allah
• Fresh, cool breezes
• Sweet kinoo in winter
• The vibrant colours of nature
• Peace that Allah gives after dhikr & salaat
• My computer & broadband internet
• Berry honey
• Islamic lectures that touch you to the core
• Sea food
• Makkah & Madeenah
• Second-hand bookstores
• Meals with good company
• Sleep
• Black seed
• Ease after pain and hardship

I have been struggling to loosen up. It sounds funny coming from an easy-going person like me. I am usually not one to get too intense about time management, schedules and goals, but when it comes to Marz’s schooling, I seem to have taken on a completely different personality! I’ve become a stickler for deadlines, a fusspot for details and, I hate to admit it, a complete ogre who may be killing any enthusiasm my child has for learning.

I’ve learnt in the past couple of weeks that it is crucial that I make space for Marz. I have to make room for her foibles just as she has to take my many weaknesses and mistakes in stride. She may not do things to MY standards, but then, she should not have to. My job is not to create a genius (OK, I do admit, I LIKE the idea) but to give her plenty of encouragement and opportunities to grow and to develop a passion for knowledge.

So… I don’t wince when she messes up the paints simply because “it is nice to MIX them ALL UP”. I no longer grimace when she colours outside the lines. I won’t tell her bears must be brown or black and not “multi-coloured”.

There are times when I fret and wonder why something so simple takes on gargantuan proportions to her. Then I remember… patience. Bearing in mind that mistakes are inevitable makes this arduous journey so much easier and pleasant. I’ve had thirty-something years of living. She’s just starting out. I should celebrate her accomplishments, not her hiccups.

I need to cut her some slack.

I read these ahadeeth yesterday and truly, they shamed me. How many times have I been in a hurry to complete my chores and placed my child last on my list of priorities? How many times have I forgotten to just STOP and BE THERE for my child?

Well, now is always a good time to change. Must go and colour some pictures with Marz!

And hey, give your kids a hug and kiss… just because, you hear?

• Anas radhiallahu `anhu said: “I have never seen a man more kind with children than the Prophet .” (Muslim) Anas also said: “The Prophet had the sharpest sense of humor with children.”
• The Prophet exhorted justice when he said: “Allah likes that you be just with your children as He likes that you be just among your own selves.” (Al-Daraqutni)
• It was reported from “`A’ishah that the Prophet kissed Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain, the sons of “˜Ali radhiallahu `anhu while Al-Aqra’ bin Habis Al-Taimi was in his audience. Al-Aqra’ said: “I have ten children, none of whom I have ever kissed.” The Prophet looked at him and said: “Those who do not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy.”
• “`A’ishah radhiallahu `anha narrated: A Bedouin came to the Messenger of Allah and said: “You kiss your children, while we do not kiss them.” The Messenger of Allah said: “I can not help that Allah has removed mercy from your heart.”
• It was reported by At-Tirmidhi and others on the authority of “`Abdullah bin Buraidah from his father (radhiallahu `anhuma) who said: I saw the Messenger of Allah while he was delivering a sermon. Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain radhiallahu `anhuma came wearing red garments and stumbling while walking. The Prophet descended Al Minbar (the pulpit) and carried them and put them in front of him. He then said: “Your property and children are only a trial. I saw these two boys stumbling in their walk and could not help stopping my sermon and raising them.”
• Al-Nasa’i and Al-Hakim narrated: While the Prophet was leading people in Prayer, Al-Hussain came and rode on his neck while he was prostrating himself. The Prophet prolonged prostration, until they (the worshipers) thought there was something wrong. When Prayer finished, the people said: “You prolonged prostration, O Messenger of Allah, until we thought that there was something wrong with you.” He replied: “My son rode on me i.e. rode on my back, and I disliked to disturb him until he satisfies himself (and gets down).”
• It was narrated in Al-Isabaah that “the Prophet was of the habit of playing with Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain radhiallahu `anhuma, walking on his hands and knees while they both clung to him from both sides, and saying to them: “What a good camel you have and what a good camel-riders you are.”
• It was narrated in Bukhari and Muslim after Anas radhiallahu `anhu that the Prophet said: “I enter into Prayer intending to prolong it, but when I hear a baby crying, I shorten it, as I know how his mother is anxious about his crying.”

I really love the site Enchanted Learning. It is a little online encyclopedia catered to children on a diverse range of subjects, from animals to plants to geography. Enchanted Learning also has an online picture dictionary, illustrated science dictionaries, crafts pages and more. Some materials are also available in other languages. Subjects are arranged thematically and also in alphabetical order for easy navigation.

What I like best about it are the fuss-free printables – they aren’t fancy for sure, but that is EXACTLY how and why I like them. Illustrations are mostly black and whites with only outlines so that helps me save on ink for the printer! Much of the information is free but with membership (it’s WORTH IT, I tell you!), one gets so much more printable material.

Go… check it out. GO!!!!

I have had many stops and starts in homeschooling.

Research was not a problem for me. I found that with Allah’s help, a little ingenuity and tenacity, I did not have to spend money on expensive curricula for Marz. Within 2 months, I had collected and compiled enough materials for a year’s homeschooling, all on a budget.

Support is also not a problem. My husband is behind me one hundred per cent and my in-laws, whatever their views on homeschooling, have never said a negative word.

Organising has not been a problem either – all the materials are there, systematically sorted and categorised, ready and waiting to be utilised.

It’s all good, right? Actually, no…

So what is it that has been holding me back?

I have come to the painful conclusion that it’s my lack of patience that has been ruining every learning opportunity. I would have a number of set goals and when things did not go as planned, I would get frustrated and subconsciously blame Marz for thwarting my attempts… failing to realise that this whole effort is not about MY DREAMS but about helping HER NURTURE HER OWN!

There were other days when I would get discouraged and hold back… afraid to try for it seemed an insurmountable mountain to overcome.

Well, today, I read something very interesting. Marty Lane, in “Learning at Home: A Mother’s Guide to Homeschooling” (Sea Change Publications) lists 12 things needed for parents to be successful at homeschooling:

• Genuinely like your child or children and enjoy his, her, or their company
• Have a sense of humor
• Be able to read, write and do basic math and be willing to upgrade your skills as necessary
• Have a commitment to a philosophy that leads you to homeschool
• Be willing to develop communication/listening skills
• Be prepared to receive criticism for your decision to homeschool
• Have a support system or network and/or a supportive partner
• Be able to learn from mistakes
• Be willing to develop limit setting skills
• Be willing to develop patience
• Be willing to develop observational skills
• Be willing to change

I think that the list is applicable to parents in general, homeschooling or not. At any rate, it made me think a great deal about patience. I once told a friend about how I ask Allah always to grant me more sabr in dealing with Marz and how things just don’t seem to get easier. She laughed and said, “Well, Allah IS helping you whether you realise it or not. We ask for patience, but really, you can’t just ask for it and GET it. It is something that has to be WORKED on – it is only through trials and hardship that you do get patience.”

The Qur’an tells us that Allah is with those who are patient – “O you who believe! Seek Help in Patience and Salaah. Truly, Allah is with those that are patient.” [Qur’an 2:153]

So here I am back on the drawing board, trying very to get back on track and to inject a lot more love and fun into teaching Marz.

A new day with new challenges… and joys in shaa Allah.