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The Recipe of Trials

February 16, 2005 by Imaan No Comments

I don’t normally like posting things that I receive from mailing lists but this seems quite interesting and would make a good lesson for kids too.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they had gotten soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma, and then asked, “What’s the point, Mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water – but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I?

  • Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
  • Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
  • Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?

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Islam The Stuff of Life

Daughters

February 11, 2005 by Imaan 2 Comments

A sister I know is expecting a second child. An ultrasound showed that the baby looked fine alhamdulillah and that in shaa Allah, she could look forward to another baby girl. The sister praised Allah and was overjoyed that no complications had been detected or were expected. She knew her husband too would be all smiles about the news.

When she left the ultrasound room, the sister headed for her mother and her first-born daughter who had accompanied her to the hospital. Her mother eagerly asked about the baby’s gender and when told, looked visibly disappointed. “Oh… another girl? Your husband will be quite disappointed. It would have been nice to have a boy this time, don’t you think?”

Her little 3-year-old on, the other hand, beamed and grinned quite excitedly when told that she would in shaa Allah have a baby sister. When asked if she knew of a name, she nodded and said gleefully, “We shall name her Khadija in shaa Allah!”

I have been thinking about the mother’s reaction and how she almost spoilt the joy of the sister.

If I could, I would tell her that her to emulate her 3-year-old grand-daughter who showed instant appreciation for Allah’s blessings.

If I could, I would tell her that daughters are gems.

If I could, I would tell her these ahadeeth from the Messenger of Allah ssallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, which testify to the noble status of daughters…

`A’ishah radhiallahu `anha said: A woman came to me with her two daughters and asked me (for charity). She found that I had nothing except for a single date, which I gave to her. She took it and divided it between her two daughters, and did not eat any of it herself, then she got up and left with her daughters. The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam came in and I told him what had happened. He sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Whoever is tested with daughters and treats them well, they will be for him a shield against the Fire of Hell.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

According to another report narrated by Muslim from `A’ishah radhiallahu `anha, she said: A poor woman came to me carrying her two daughters. I gave her three dates to eat. She gave each child a date, and raised the third to her own mouth to eat it. Her daughters asked her to give it to them, so she split the date that she had wanted to eat between them. I was impressed by what she had done, and told the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam about it. He said, “Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala has decreed Paradise for her because of it,” or, “He has saved her from Hell because of it.”

Abu Hurayrah radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “Whoever has three daughters, and shelters them, bearing their joys and sorrows with patience, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala will admit him to Paradise by virtue of his compassion towards them.” A man asked, “What if he has only two, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Even if they are only two.” Another man asked, “What if he has only one, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Even if he has only one.” (Ahmad)

Ibn `Abbas radhiallahu `anhu said: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “Whoever had a daughter born to him, and he did not bury her alive or humiliate her, and he did not prefer his son over her, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala will admit him to Paradise because of her.” (al-Hakim)

Abu Sa`id al-Khudri radhiallahu `anhu said: “The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: ‘There is no-one who has three daughters, or three sisters, and he treats them well, but Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala will admit him to Paradise.'” (Bukhari)

The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “There is no one among my ummah who has three daughters, or three sisters, and he supports them until they are grown up, but he will be with me in Paradise like this…” and he held up his index and middle fingers together. (At-Tabarani)

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The Stuff of Life

Life’s Little Blessings

February 10, 2005 by Imaan No Comments

The Little Things That Make Me Say “Alhamdulillah”

  • Islam
  • Pizza
  • My mum… she is the best
  • My dad… I miss him lots
  • Mak’s Place Butter Calamaris
  • Marz
  • Bear
  • My beautiful sister who has a heart of gold
  • My quirky and generous brother
  • Health
  • My cool husband
  • My very nice in-laws
  • Pink tea on a cold winter’s day… made by my very nice mom-in-law :)
  • Books
  • Chocolate
  • Autumn
  • Home… wherever it may be
  • Rayyan’s Fried Chicken
  • Tea sweetened with condensed milk … whenever!
  • Cool water
  • My lovely cousins and their sweet kids who fuss over mine
  • My five senses
  • Quiet moments after Fajr prayers
  • French fries
  • Friends I can natter with for hours on end… you know who you are
  • Ramadhan
  • Inspiration about Jannah that give me hope
  • Reminders about An-Naar that keep me focused
  • Youth
  • Chilli sauce
  • Love for the sake of Allah
  • Fresh, cool breezes
  • Sweet kinoo in winter
  • The vibrant colours of nature
  • Peace that Allah gives after dhikr & salaat
  • My computer & broadband internet
  • Berry honey
  • Islamic lectures that touch you to the core
  • Sea food
  • Makkah & Madeenah
  • Second-hand bookstores
  • Meals with good company
  • Sleep
  • Black seed
  • Ease after pain and hardship
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Homeschool The Stuff of Life

Still more on patience…

February 6, 2005 by Imaan No Comments

I have been struggling to loosen up. It sounds funny coming from an easy-going person like me. I am usually not one to get too intense about time management, schedules and goals, but when it comes to Marz’s schooling, I seem to have taken on a completely different personality! I’ve become a stickler for deadlines, a fusspot for details and, I hate to admit it, a complete ogre who may be killing any enthusiasm my child has for learning.

I’ve learnt in the past couple of weeks that it is crucial that I make space for Marz. I have to make room for her foibles just as she has to take my many weaknesses and mistakes in stride. She may not do things to MY standards, but then, she should not have to. My job is not to create a genius (OK, I do admit, I LIKE the idea) but to give her plenty of encouragement and opportunities to grow and to develop a passion for knowledge.

So… I don’t wince when she messes up the paints simply because “it is nice to MIX them ALL UP”. I no longer grimace when she colours outside the lines. I won’t tell her bears must be brown or black and not “multi-coloured”.

There are times when I fret and wonder why something so simple takes on gargantuan proportions to her. Then I remember… patience. Bearing in mind that mistakes are inevitable makes this arduous journey so much easier and pleasant. I’ve had thirty-something years of living. She’s just starting out. I should celebrate her accomplishments, not her hiccups.

I need to cut her some slack.

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Islam Homeschool The Stuff of Life

Love & Affection

February 2, 2005 by Imaan No Comments

I read these ahadeeth yesterday and truly, they shamed me. How many times have I been in a hurry to complete my chores and placed my child last on my list of priorities? How many times have I forgotten to just STOP and BE THERE for my child?

Well, now is always a good time to change. Must go and colour some pictures with Marz!

And hey, give your kids a hug and kiss… just because, you hear?

  • Anas radhiallahu `anhu said: “I have never seen a man more kind with children than the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam.” (Muslim) Anas also said: “The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam had the sharpest sense of humor with children.”
  • The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam exhorted justice when he said: “Allah likes that you be just with your children as He likes that you be just among your own selves.” (Al-Daraqutni)
  • It was reported from “`A’ishah that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam kissed Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain, the sons of “˜Ali radhiallahu `anhu while Al-Aqra’ bin Habis Al-Taimi was in his audience. Al-Aqra’ said: “I have ten children, none of whom I have ever kissed.” The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam looked at him and said: “Those who do not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy.”
  • “`A’ishah radhiallahu `anha narrated: A Bedouin came to the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam and said: “You kiss your children, while we do not kiss them.” The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “I can not help that Allah has removed mercy from your heart.”
  • It was reported by At-Tirmidhi and others on the authority of “`Abdullah bin Buraidah from his father (radhiallahu `anhuma) who said: I saw the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam while he was delivering a sermon. Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain radhiallahu `anhuma came wearing red garments and stumbling while walking. The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam descended Al Minbar (the pulpit) and carried them and put them in front of him. He then said: “Your property and children are only a trial. I saw these two boys stumbling in their walk and could not help stopping my sermon and raising them.”
  • Al-Nasa’i and Al-Hakim narrated: While the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam was leading people in Prayer, Al-Hussain came and rode on his neck while he was prostrating himself. The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam prolonged prostration, until they (the worshipers) thought there was something wrong. When Prayer finished, the people said: “You prolonged prostration, O Messenger of Allah, until we thought that there was something wrong with you.” He replied: “My son rode on me i.e. rode on my back, and I disliked to disturb him until he satisfies himself (and gets down).”
  • It was narrated in Al-Isabaah that “the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam was of the habit of playing with Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain radhiallahu `anhuma, walking on his hands and knees while they both clung to him from both sides, and saying to them: “What a good camel you have and what a good camel-riders you are.”
  • It was narrated in Bukhari and Muslim after Anas radhiallahu `anhu that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “I enter into Prayer intending to prolong it, but when I hear a baby crying, I shorten it, as I know how his mother is anxious about his crying.”
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Taking stock…. . . . . . . . #pakistan #islam Taking stock…. 
 
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#pakistan #islamabad #peopleofpakistan #peopleofislamabad #everydaypakistan #everydaypakistani #everydayislamabad #everydaypeople #menatwork #anhonestdayswork #work #jumahbazaar #itwarbazaar #market #marketday #souq #farmersmarket #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #islamabaddiaries #islamabadchronicles #desidiaries #jumahbazaar  #driedfruit #winter #winterinislamabad
There is a rider there… somewhere. . . . . . There is a rider there… somewhere. 
 
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Taking a breather… . . . . . . . . . . . #paki Taking a breather… 

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#pakistan #islamabad #peopleofpakistan #peopleofislamabad #everydaypakistan #everydaypakistani #everydayislamabad #everydaypeople #menatwork #anhonestdayswork #work #jumahbazaar #itwarbazaar #market #marketday #souq #farmersmarket #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #islamabaddiaries #islamabadchronicles #desidiaries #jumahbazaar
Cheerful… not salty! . . . . . . . . . . . #pak Cheerful… not salty!

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#pakistan #islamabad #peopleofpakistan #peopleofislamabad #everydaypakistan #everydaypakistani #everydayislamabad #everydaypeople #menatwork #anhonestdayswork #work #jumahbazaar #itwarbazaar #market #marketday #souq #farmersmarket #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #islamabaddiaries #islamabadchronicles #desidiaries #jumahbazaar  #pinksalt #rocksalt #nothimalayansalt #kewrasaltmine
New season, new colours… . . . . . . . . . . # New season, new colours… 

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#pakistan #islamabad #peopleofpakistan #peopleofislamabad #everydaypakistan #everydaypakistani #everydayislamabad #everydaypeople #menatwork #anhonestdayswork #work #jumahbazaar #itwarbazaar #market #marketday #souq #farmersmarket #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #islamabaddiaries #islamabadchronicles #desidiaries #jumahbazaar #outandabout
Little man at work . . . . . . . . . . #pakistan Little man at work 

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#pakistan #islamabad #peopleofpakistan #peopleofislamabad #everydaypakistan #everydaypakistani #everydayislamabad #everydaypeople #menatwork #anhonestdayswork #work #jumahbazaar #itwarbazaar #market #marketday #souq #farmersmarket #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #islamabaddiaries #islamabadchronicles #desidiaries #jumahbazaar  #childrenatwork #kidsatwork #kids

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