I found some old email print-outs and remembered a couple of incidents from my past. As usual, I have a bit of a long story to tell. *S* A few years ago, in trying to become a more practising Muslim, I underwent a great struggle. I felt very much alone – it was as if not one person around me – not my family, not my friends – understood me. When we discussed Islamic issues, I would be dismissed – as if I were “going too far” or as if I were spewing out drivel.

There is one particular occasion that stands out. I was at work and discussing the issue of hijab and niqab [the face veil] with a colleague when another sister cut in and said to the person I was talking to, “But you don’t NEED to go into all that stuff.” She said this in a curt and warning tone, as if what I had been talking about was completely unnecessary… as if I would lead her astray. Mind you, I was not even advocating niqab – I was just discussing different points of views and I merely indicated that I liked the idea of niqab even though I do not wear it. That sister’s words and tone truly stung, not only because of what she implied but also because she was a close friend of mine. It hurt all the more because it was not the first time she had subtly or not so subtly made her feelings known. I made no answer then and just left the issue.

On another occasion, I was at a wedding with a few relatives. I was not married then and I suppose there were those who felt sorry for me and took it upon themselves to feel desperate on my behalf. I could tell they were on the lookout for potential suitors for me. Some were quite well meaning but others went a little too far. My initial amusement turned into annoyance. I was quite content to leave matters to Allah and I did not appreciate the methods they advocated.

During the dinner, I put on a nice black jilbab with a new matching scarf. I did not put on make up on as the wedding was not a segregated affair. I didn’t think I looked all that bad – not flashy but not sloppy or dowdy for sure.

When one of the elders saw me, her face just fell and she then looked irritated. She kept urging me to put some lipstick on. I said, no, getting a little fed-up, because I had tolerated days of disappointed looks and whispered sarcasm. After more pestering on her part and more refusal on mine, the lady said exasperatedly, “BUT YOU DON’T LOOK NICE!” Not much more was said thereafter… my evening was quite ruined.

It depressed me, not because I was told I didn’t look nice – I am not too concerned about what other people think about my looks – but because I felt very much alone.

In situations like these, I take comfort in the advice one of my online friends. AlHamdulillah for I have met many encouraging Muslims via the internet. It may have been that they had undergone the very same problems that I had. Whatever it was, I felt a deep sense of affinity with these individuals. They were gentle when I needed correction, patient when I needed information and compassionate when I needed a friend.

This one friend reminded me that such a feeling of ‘strangeness’ is a praiseworthy condition when one refuses to conform to useless customs. I was told, “Da’wah is like bringing up a child – one does not actually see him growing… It takes time before one notices the changes and one therefore needs patience.”

Some early scholars used to advise, “Keep fast to the path of truth, and do not succumb to loneliness because of the few who tread it; and be aware of the path of falsehood, and do not be deceived by the many headed on it to destruction.”

My friend told me of the words of Ibn Hazm, who said:

“As for the reproach made to me by ignorant adversaries who say that I put no value on anyone who disagrees with me when I believe that I am in the right, and that I would never act in concert with the ones I contradict even if they amounted to the entire human population on the face of the earth, and that I place no value on conforming with the people of my country in many of the customs or costume which they have adopted for no particular reason – this independence is a quality which I regard as one of my most important virtues. There is nothing equal to it, and, upon my life, if I did not possess it [God forbid], it would be this that I most longed for, and hoped for, and prayed for to God Almighty. In fact, my advice to all who may hear my words is to behave in the same way. There is no benefit to be had from copying other people if their actions are vain and pointless. By so doing, one annoys the Almighty, and disappoints one’s mind [deludes oneself], causes suffering to one’s soul and body and takes upon one’s shoulders an unnecessary yoke.”

It has been many years since I received and printed out the email. It is only now, with the passage of time, that I truly appreciate the wisdom. I hope that Inshaa Allah this will help you all in some way if you go through difficult times.

My father passed away ten months ago [in Ramadhan 2002] after a long and hard battle against multiple myeloma. He had been diagnosed two years earlier and we had all known then that the cancer was in its advanced stages. Even so, I was not prepared. When he breathed his last, the pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. I learnt then that grief is not something you can plan for – it is a profoundly lonely and frightening experience.

My father battled the disease stoically and sought comfort in prayer and supplication. He was blessed with a cheerful and vibrant countenance and it was this that made it hard for people to believe that he had such a serious illness. He did lose his hair and his usual vigour due to the chemotherapy; nevertheless, he still managed to look almost healthy. Looking back, I know now that he struggled very hard to appear well – he kept up his immaculate appearance and put up a brave front in front of others.

My mother stood by him throughout his illness, nursing him and taking care of his every need. She fought fatigue and despair and held his hand when he felt alone and afraid. This woman who must have had dreams of growing old with her husband remained a pillar of strength when he passed away and kept the family united.

Through my mother and father, I have grown to appreciate how very resilient the human spirit can be. So, today, I would like to talk about meeting adversities with grace and courage.

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala says in the noble Qur’an, “And certainly We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to those who are patient.” (Al Baqarah 2: 155)

This life is filled with fortune and benefits as well as hardship and trials. Our lives alternate between comfort and suffering. The believer, however, knows that the pleasures of this world are but temporary and that he should focus on ensuring that he has provisions of piety which would serve him well in the hereafter. Allah tells us, “Truly, the life of this world is nothing but a [quick passing] enjoyment, and verily, the Hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Al-Ghafir: 39]

I am reminded of a conversation that took place a few years ago. I was then struggling to become a more practicing and knowledgeable Muslimah. It seemed that the harder I tried, the more trials I seemed to encounter. This I conveyed to a friend whom I always turned to for guidance and support.

I had expected words of consolation and understanding, but the reply I got was brief and almost curt – “But of course… Jannah does not come cheap.”

I was taken aback then, but I now know that that person’s words are true. Allah has said in Surah al-`Ankaboot: 2-3]: “Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test)…”

Indeed, this world is the place of striving and the Hereafter is the place of reward… provided we remain patient and steadfast. As Allah promised: “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to as-Saabiroon (the patient), who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’ They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones…” [al-Baqarah:155-157]

Meeting Pain with Patience
Sadness, anguish and even anger in times of trials are natural. The danger is that if we do not exercise sufficient self-control, these feelings may take over us and cause us to lose perspective. This trait is not restricted to the fairer sex of course, but we do have a tendency to become emotional and overwrought. We forget that there are others who are afflicted with much worse. We lament and moan about our difficulties, forgetting that they are blessings in themselves.

One may find it odd to say that trials are a boon, but we need to only look at the Qur`an and Sunnah to know that trials refine our character and fortify our faith. Allah tests His slaves with calamities in order to raise them in status and to expiate for their sins, as the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said in another hadeeth: “No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress – not even a thorn that pricks him – but Allah will expiate for some of his sins because of that.” (Agreed upon, narrated by al-Bukhari)

It is part of the mercy of Allah that disasters befall sinners in this world, so that their souls might be purified and they might come back to Allah before they die: “And verily, We will make them taste of the near torment (i.e. the torment in the life of this world, i.e. disasters, calamities) prior to the supreme torment (in the Hereafter), in order that they may (repent and) return (i.e. accept Islam).” [al-Sajdah:21]

There is a hadeeth of Sa’d who stated: The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam was asked: “Who from mankind suffers the greatest afflictions?” He replied: “The Prophets, then those most like them, then those most like them. A person is afflicted with calamities in comparisons to his Deen, so if he is firm in his Deen, then his afflictions are strong and if he is weak in his Deen, then his afflictions are lighter. A person is afflicted with calamities until he is left walking upon the face of this earth without any sins.” [Ahmad & at-Tirmidhi]

I was struck by the lessons in this hadeeth. However hard our trials, we should remember that the prophets and messengers of Allah `alayhimus salaam who were the closest to Allah were the MOST tested among mankind. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam was maligned, taunted, beaten till he bled, boycotted and driven to hunger on many occasions … he bore all this with courage and fortitude. In fact, severe trials used to make him stronger and even more resolute. How can we then complain of our hardships which pale in comparison?

The True Women of Substance
We would do well to draw inspiration from the many stories of the outstanding women in our glorious history. These women had a deep conviction in Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala and it is this that kept them steadfast throughout their ordeals.

There is the story of Hajar, the wife of `Ibrahim and mother of Isma`il. When she and her son were left in the desert of Makkah with no means of support, she calmly asked her husband if Allah had commanded it. When he replied in the affirmative, she faced her situation with optimism, saying, “Then He is not going to abandon us.” [Reported by al-Bukhari]

Then there was Sumayyah radhiallahu `anha, the mother of `Ammar ibn Yasir radhiallahu `anhuma. She and her family were of the early Muslims who were persecuted by the Quraish. They were tortured with burning sand poured over them, heated shields placed onto their bodies and much more. When she refused to recant, Abu Jahl, the wicked enemy of Islam, stabbed her abdomen till she died. Such was the strength of this old woman who had the honour of being the first martyr of Islam.

Umm Salamah Asma bint Yazid bin Sakan Ansariah radhiallahu `anhuma lost not one but three of her loved ones in the Battle of Uhud. When told that her father, brother `Amir and uncle Ziyad bin Sakan were martyred, she pushed her grief aside and asked about the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam. When she saw him alive, she thanked Allah and said that all other troubles faded into significance.

How to Remain Steadfast
We are told that, “On no soul does Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear.” How can we then remain stoic and patient in times of hardship?

[1] Place your trust in Allah
Allah reminds us time and again in the Qur`an to rely on Him: “So rely upon Allah; indeed, you are upon the clear truth” (An-Naml: 79). Also: “… And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]” (Aal-‘Imraan: 159) and “… And rely upon Allah. And sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs” (An-Nisaa’: 81)

[2] Seek help in prayer
Whenever the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam was afflicted with problem, he would initiate a prayer. He said, “The light of my eye is in prayer.” [Ahmad & An-Nisa`i]

We should keep our tongues moist with dhikr for indeed, the remembrance of Allah would fill us with tranquility. There are also various du`aa that help to remove distress. The story of Abu Umaamah radhiallahu `anhu illustrates this. The Messenger sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam met him and asked, “Abu Umaamah, why do I see you sitting in the Masjid when it is not time for prayer?” He said: “Grief and debts on me, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “Shall I teach you words that if you should say, Allah will release you from your grief, and pay off your debts.” I said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “Every morning and in the evening say, ‘O Allah I ask refuge in you from grief and sorrow and I ask refuge in you in disability and laziness, and ask refuge in Allah from cowardliness and stinginess, and I ask refuge in you to be overwhelmed by debts and over the control of men.'” Abu Umaamah said: “I did that and Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala relieved me from my grief and paid off my debts.” [Abu Dawood]

[3] Accept the decree of Allah
The Messenger sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “From the happiness of the son of Adam is that he accepts what Allah decrees, and the misery of the son of Adam is that he rejects, and rebels against what Allah decrees.” [at-Tirmidhi]

Dawood Ibn Sulaiman said, “Three things indicate the piety of a believer; his trust in Allah in what he has not attained; his satisfaction with whatever he has attained and his patience over what he has missed.”

Remember also the hadeeth that says, “If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.” (Al-Bukhari)

[4] Appreciate the rewards behind hardship
Surely we cannot refuse this gift from Allah! Shurayh said, “A slave will not be afflicted by a trial except that he finds three blessings therein, (1) that the trial has nothing to do with his religion, (2) that the trial was not bigger than it is, and (3) that Allah gives him patience to bear it.”

In a hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said: “Hell has been veiled with desires, and Paradise has been veiled with hardships.”

Trials, however difficult, are opportunities… stepping stones to Jannah. Can we refuse this gift of Allah?

May Allah give us strength and steadfastness, ameen.

I knew that I would never see him conscious again. So before the doctors placed my father on the life support machine, I deliberately lagged behind as my family left the room. As soon as my mother, brother, sister and husband stepped out the door, I turned and darted back to my father.

You see, I had something important to tell him. I had to tell him that I loved him.

I stroked his hand and whispered the words in his ear. I kissed him and then I had to leave him.

I’ve often agonized over that final moment. Did my father hear me? Did he know that I meant it with all of my heart?

The Lord’s Pleasure is Connected to the Parents’ Pleasure
Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala speaks about the importance of honouring one’s parents in the Qur`an, placing it second only to the worship of and pleasing Him.

“Worship Allah and join not any partners with him; and do good to parents…” [An-Nisa 4:36]

“Your Rabb has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents…” [Al-Isra’ 17:23]

“And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) ‘Show gratitude to Me and to your parents – to Me is (your final) Goal.'” [Luqman 31: 14]

The Example of the Prophets & Salaf
How do we love, respect and revere our parents? We should take the cue from the Prophets `alayhimus salaam and the righteous Salaf (pious predecessors) who fully understood our parents’ exalted position and strove hard to fulfil their rights.

Allah praised Yahya `alayhis salaam for he was kind to his parents in their old age – “And (Prophet Yahya was) dutiful towards his parents and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents).” [Maryam 19: 14]

He also singled out `Isa `alayhis salaam who was devoted to his mother – “…And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest.” [Maryam 19:32]

Asir ibn Jaabir radhiallahu `anhu narrated: Whenever people would come from Yemen, `Umar radhiallahu `anhu would ask them, “Is Uways Al-Qaranee amongst you?” until, one year, he met Uways. He said, “Are you Uways Al-Qaranee?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar continued, “From Muraad, then Qaran?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar then asked, “Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham’s area?” Uways said, “Yes.” `Umar finally asked, “Do you have a mother (that is alive)?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar then said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah – sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam – say, ‘Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham’s area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you.'” `Umar then requested from Uways, “Ask forgiveness for me.” And Uways Al-Qaranee did.

Look at how Allah honoured Uways – he fulfilled his every du`aa because he was dutiful to his mother.

Beware of `Uquq!
Al-Hasan al-Basri said, “Birr towards parents entails obeying their orders, except when what they order is in disobedience of Allah. In contrast, `Uquq entails neglecting parents and withholding one’s kindness from them.” [Ad-Durr al-Manthur]

In fact, disobeying our parents is a grievous sin – Abu Bakrah Nufay’ ibn al-Harith said, “The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam asked us three times, ‘Shall I tell you the greatest sins?’ We said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah!’ He said, “Associating partners with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam reminded us not to incur our parents’ displeasure when he said, “The Lord’s Pleasure is connected to the parents’ pleasure and the Lord’s Anger is connected to the parents’ anger.” [Kitabul-Kabair]

Look at this narration of Abdullah ibn Abu Aufa about the man who had wounded his mother’s feelings:

A man said, “O Allah’s Messenger! There s a young man who is dying and is commanded to recite La ilaaha illallah, but he is unable to recite it.” The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam went to the young man and ordered him, “Say La ilaaha illallah!” He replied, “I cannot.” The Prophet asked him why and he said, “Every time I want to recite it, my heart is prevented from doing so.” The Prophet asked him why and he said, “Because of my `uquq (undutiful treatment) towards my mother.”

The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam sent for her and asked her, “What if I commanded that a great fire is started and you were asked to invoke Allah to forgive your son, or else he would be thrown in it?” She said, “In that case, I will invoke Allah for him, O Allah’s Messenger!” The Prophet then said, “Then bear witness to Allah and then to me that you have forgiven him.” She said, “I bear witness to You (O Allah) and then to Your Messenger that I have forgiven my son.”

The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said to the young man, “Say La ilaaha illallah!” The man said, ” La ilaaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lahu! (There is no deity worthy of worship but Allah Alone without partners)” The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said thrice, “All praise is due to Allah for saving you from the Fire.” [At-Tabarani]

The fact of the matter is that no matter what and how much we do, we can never fully repay our parents for all that they have done for us. Ibn `Umar saw a Yemeni making tawaf of the Ka`bah, carrying his mother. The man said, “I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think that I have paid her back, O Ibn `Umar?” He replied, “No, not even one contraction. However, you have done good and Allah will reward you tremendously for the little that you could do.” [Al-Kaba’ir]

Birr Towards Our Parents
There are many ways in which we can be dutiful to our parents. This list is by no means exhaustive:

1. Go to every extent to please them
We should make our parents’ happiness and comfort a topmost priority. Dhibyaan ibn `Ali ath-Thawri radhiallahu `anhu used to travel with his mother to Makkah. When they rested, he would dig a little pool, fill it with cool water and invite his mother to sit in it so she could be protected from the searing heat.

Mu`awiyah ibn Qurrah used to praise his son saying, “What an excellent son, he took care of my life affairs for me and that allowed me to concentrate on matters of the Hereafter.” [Hilyatul-Auliya’]

2. Protect their feelings
We should never cause our parents grief or hurt them even by a fraction. Allah said, “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them, ‘Uff’ nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say, ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’ …” [Al-Isra’ 17: 17:23-24]

Ibn `Umar also said, “Bringing tears to parents is a part of `Uquq and a major sin.” [Bukhari]

3. Address them respectfully
When asked how one can address one’s parents in “terms of honour”, Sa`id ibn Musayyab radhiallahu `anhu said, “It means that you address them as a servant addresses a master.”

Indeed, the Salaf were so respectful that they were almost submissive and obsequious to their parents, no matter how high a status they themselves had attained. Abu Bakr ibn Ayyash said, “I used to sit with Mansur (a scholar) in his house and would hear his mother, who was loud and rude, shout at him, “O Mansur! Ibn Hubairah (governor of Iraq at that time) appointed you to the post of judge but you refuse.’ Mansur would not even look her in the eye out of respect.” [Al-Birr was-Silah by Ibn al-Jawzee]

Ibn Sirin used to speak to his mother in such a soft voice that it seemed as though he were ill.

4. Visit them regularly
Remember that severing ties of kinship is a major sin. For those of us who do not live with our parents, we would do well to look in on them regularly. Abu Hurairah radhiallahu `anhu had a beautiful relationship with his mother. He lived in the house next to hers and would make it a point to stand at her door whenever he went out and say, “Peace be unto to you, my mother, and Allah’s mercy and blessings.” She would reply, “Peace be unto you and Allah’s mercy and blessings.” He would then say, “May Allah grant you His Mercy for raising me when I was young,” and she would reply, “May Allah grant you His Mercy for being dutiful to me when you grew up.” Abu Hurairah would often repeat this statement when he went in or out. [Bukhari]

5. Make du`aa for them
Abu Dardaa radhiallahu `anhu has reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “The du`aa of a Muslim for another Muslim (in his absence) is responded to, as long as he makes du`aa for goodness and blessings. And the angel says, “Aameen! And may the same be for you too!” [Muslim]

6. Continue doing good for them even after they die
The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.” [Tirmidhi]

We should not cease to seek forgiveness for our deceased parents for the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you.'” [Ibn Maajah]

We can also perform acts of charity on their behalf. Ibn `Abbaas radhiallahu `anhuma reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn `Ubaadah radhiallahu `anhuma died when he was away from her. He said: “O Messenger of Allah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefit her anything if I give in charity on her behalf?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf.” [Al-Bukhari]

I’ve grown to understand that the best kind of love is the love for the sake of Allah. No one really belongs to us. They are ‘on loan’ to us from Allah and we are grateful for the time they are present and we are patient when they are taken back.

Now, I try not to think about whether my father heard me that day. Maybe he did and maybe he did not… but that is not important anymore. I have too much to do… supplications to make, charity to give and projects to run… may Allah make all this possible, ameen.

I have to work hard because I hope that in so doing, on the Day of Judgement, my father will know for sure that I love him…

I’m trying to move my old blog Making Memories over so till it’s successfully migrated, I’ll post a few of my old articles here. This one is about oppression and I had written it for An-Nisaa (South Africa).

I was told a story once which truly humbled me and taught me many lessons. It is about a Muslim’s brother’s true experience. The names, place and time do not matter for what happened to this brother could happen to anyone at any place and at any time.

For the sake of ease, I shall call the brother `Imran and I am sharing this story in the hopes that you too may gain some benefit from it.

`Imran grew up in a practising Muslim household. His parents had been through their share of hard times. Having tasted the rich life and lost it, they were careful never to be arrogant nor to be ungrateful for life’s many blessings. Their society however, was a different story altogether. There was a huge divide between the “haves” and “have-nots”. It was not unusual to see the some of the rich desensitized to the plight of the poor. It was also not unusual to see the poor accustomed to the callous and indifferent treatment from the rich.

On one occasion, two of `Imran’s schoolmates asked him out. Thinking that it was going to be a relaxing drive in the car, he accepted the invitation. What he did not know was that the boys had a completely different idea of fun.

The boys proceeded to the slums where the poor and downtrodden lived and took out a box of eggs. `Imran began to feel uneasy but tried to dismiss the negative thoughts. As they sped through the streets, his acquaintances began to throw the eggs at unsuspecting victims, hooting with glee.

Realising their true agenda, `Imran was desperate to stop them. He shouted at them to stop, but they were having way too much fun to listen and drove on even faster. To this day, he remembers feeling anger and shame… he remembers saying, “Astaghfirullah!” over and over again, wanting no part in their cruel game.

Some of you may think that this was over-reaction on `Imran’s part – surely there is no harm in a little practical joke, you might say. Well, what was a night of laughs and giggles for the boys was a night of hurt for others. `Imran recalled looking back to see a child by the road, struck hard in the face. The little one’s stunned expression – he was almost too shocked to cry – pained him terribly. Another victim was an old man who was on his bicycle. Upon being hit, he lost control and tumbled to the ground. Others were to follow much to the twisted delight of these boys. It was more than mischief – it was plain meanness and a disregard for the dignity of others.

`Imran later left and resolved never to keep company with them again. Guilt and sadness tormented him every time he thought about the folks who became victims for the sole reason that they were poor and powerless. The boys knew that none of them would ever dare take them to task. They feared no repercussions – they had fast cars to make a quick getaway and friends in high places who could buy them out of trouble even if they were caught.

Within the same week, the boys came calling at his house again. `Imran stepped out the back door and instructed his siblings to tell them that he was “not in the house”. He did not want to lie, but he had had enough of them.

The very next day, `Imran turned the pages of the morning newspaper and read a piece of news that shocked him – those acquaintances had been involved in an accident the night before. One sustained serious injuries and the other died – the one who had thrown the eggs.

To this day, `Imran gets the chills when he thinks about the prank, the fate of the two boys and what could have happened to him.

The Sin of Oppression… and where it can lead you
Oppression is committed when one wrongs another and this may include a number of things such as cheating, persecution, slander, abuse and so on. It is a major sin in Islam – Abu Dharr radhiallahu `anhu reported Allah’s Messenger sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam as saying: “Allah the Most High says: ‘My servants, I have prohibited injustice to Myself and have made it prohibited among you; do not oppress each other, then.'” [Muslim]

We are often careless with our words and actions – we trivialise a wrong we have done and forget that we will be held accountable for our actions. However, we should always bear in mind that all our actions are recorded – “So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom [or a small ant], shall see it. And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom [or a small ant], shall see it.” [Al-Zalzalah 99: 7-8] Sometimes the punishment is swift and sometimes, it is delayed… but it WILL be meted out because Allah is Most Just.

We fear poverty and bankruptcy in this world but forget that our wrongdoings, particularly those inflicted on another can bankrupt us in the Hereafter. Allah’s Messenger sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam asked, “Do you know who is the [penniless] poor?” The listeners replied: “Messenger of Allah, the poor among us is the one who does not have any money or property.” Then the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “The poor, in my nation [Ummah] is that person who will come on the Day of Resurrection backed with prayers, fasting, Zakat, and Hajj; but also with a number of injustices to others, such as; abusing this one, taking the property of that one, slandering one, hitting another, or shedding the blood of someone else. Thereafter, his good deeds will be taken one after one and given to this person or that person, who were wronged by him. If his good deeds have been exhausted before his wrong deeds are all settled, some of the evil deeds of the wronged persons will be allocated to him, and he will be thrown into the Fire.” [Muslim and Tirmidhi]

We have not been given our wealth, property and status so we can flaunt them or lord them over others. We have a duty towards the less fortunate – we are to help and protect them. Brother `Imran’s story mirrors another from the time of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, which tells of a man who made sport of a weaker human being. In it, the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam confirmed that a nation which does not help the opprressed will not receive the blessings of Allah:

Jabir radhiallahu `anhu reported: When Mecca was conquered, Muslims, who had [earlier] migrated to Abyssinia returned and met the Prophet. He sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam asked them to tell something strange about the Abyssinian people. Then some young men said: “Yes, Messenger of Allah! Once we were sitting and saw a very old woman passing by with a jug of water on her head. She passed by a young man who put his hand between her shoulders and pushed her so hard that she fell down and broke the water jug. The old woman stood up then, looked at him, and said: ‘You treacherous villain! You will learn on the Day when Allah will gather the former and the latter [peoples]; when hands and feet will tell about what they did, then you will know! That day the matter between you and me will be settled.'” On hearing that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam remarked: “She has spoken the truth. How can Allah bless a nation which does not help its weak ones against its strong?” [Ibn Majah and Baihaqi]

Fear the Du`aa of the Oppressed
Allah alone knows what passed through the lips of those poor people `Imran’s acquaintances mistreated that night. What we do know is that Allah in His Infinite Mercy has given the weak a mighty weapon against the oppressors – the du`aa. Look at the fate of those who had wronged the Prophets `alayhimus salaam. The people of Nuh were besieged with flood; the people of Hud were struck with a severe drought and then a violent gale and the people of Saalih were destroyed by an earthquake.

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said “Fear the du`aa of he who has been wronged for verily, it ascends to the skies faster than sparks [of light].” [narrated by al-Hakim from ibn `Umar] Another hadeeth reported by Anas ibn Malik radhiallahu `anhu says: “Fear the du`aa of he who has been wronged, even if he is a disbeliever, for there remains no veil between it.” [narrated by Ahmad & Abu Ya`la]

Allah has sworn that He will come to help the one who has been oppressed. “Three people’s du`aa are never rejected: the one who is fasting, until he breaks his fast; the just ruler and the one who has been wronged. Allah raises it above the clouds and the doors of the skies are opened for it, and the Lord says, ‘By My Honour and Glory! I will help you, even if it be after some time!'” [Tirmidhi]

Then there are the stories about the companions which clearly illustrate how the supplication of the oppressed is answered to.

Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas radhiallahu `anhu was the governer of Kufah during the caliphate of `Umar ibn al-Khattab. Upon receiving some complaints about his governer, the Amir ul-Mu’mineen sent a few messengers to Kufah investigate the matter. They found that the people had only good things to say about Sa`d save those in one masjid. A man named Abu Sa`d rose and said, “If you are really asking us by Allah, then know that he was not just in his judgements, nor did he distribute the booty equally, nor was he easy with us.” Sa`d radhiallahu `anhu, upon being so accused, supplicated, “O Allah! If he is lying, then take away his sight and give him a long life and make trials afflict him.” The du`aa of Sa`d proved to be mustajjab – the narrator of the incident said, “I saw him after a long time, blind, his eyes were drooping [out of old age], and he used to harass the little girls as they walked in the alleys. Whenever he was asked, “How are you?”, he would respond, “I am an old man, great trials have befallen me! The du`aa of Sa`d has been inflicted upon me.” [al-Bukhari, Ahmad & others]

So, What Can We Do?
Remember that accusing another wrongly, taking advantage of his weakness, besmearing his reputation, mistreating him, abusing him and not fulfilling his rights constitute oppression. These are things we should always bear in mind:

[1] Repent & Seek Forgiveness
We may oppress another, out of anger or spite or even unknowingly. We must turn to Allah and seek His forgiveness. Most importantly, we must seek the pardon of the person we have wronged, for “Allah will forgive, to whoever He wills, any sins against Himself, but He will not forgive any right due to people.” [from a hadeeth in Muslim & Tirmidhi]

We should not delay in seeking forgiveness, as the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “If anyone has done wrong to his Muslim brother as regards his honour or any other thing, he should make reparation to him before a Day on which there will be no Dinar or Dirham. If he had any good deeds to his credit, they will be taken away from him in the size of his wrong doing, and if he did not have any good deeds, the evil deeds of the other (the wronged) will be loaded upon him, and he will be thrown to the Fire.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

[2] Do not associate with the oppressors
Allah Most High says: “And do not lean on those who do wrong lest the Fire should touch you. You have no patrons besides Allah; Otherwise you will not be supported.” [Hud 11:113]

There are people who attempt to win favours from influential people and not only turn a blind eye to their wrongs, but also abet in their sins. Ibn Mas’ud radhiallahu `anhu reported Allah’s Messenger sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam as saying: “There will come rulers surrounded by low types of people and those rulers will oppress the people and tell lies. Anyone who calls upon them, believes their lies, and helps them in their oppression, does not belong to me, nor I belong to him, and anyone who neither calls upon them nor supports them in their tyranny belongs to me and I belong to him”. He also reported that the Prophet said: “The one who supports a tyrant becomes a subject to him.” [Ahmad & Ibn Habban]

The salaf were just as contemptuous of such sycophants. A tailor came to Sufyan al-Thawri and said: “I sew the Sultan’s clothes. Am I a supporter of the tyrants?” Sufyan replied: “You are one of the tyrants themselves! The supporters are those who sell needles and thread to you.”

[3] Come to the aid of the oppressed
Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala says: “You are the best community that has been raised for mankind. You enjoin good and forbid evil and you believe in Allah.” [Al-i-`Imran, 3:110] It is the duty of every Muslim to do his utmost to correct a wrong – “Whoever amongst you sees an evil should change it with his hand. If he is unable to do that, then with his tongue. If he is unable to do that, then with his heart, and that is the weakest level of Iman.” [Muslim]

If we see someone being wronged, we should come to his aid. The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “Do not stand around a place where an oppressed person is being beaten without coming to defend him, because Allah’s curse descends upon such a place.” [Tabarani] He sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam also said, “Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or oppressed.” When argued: “I can help the oppressed one, but how can I help the oppressor?”, he replied: “By preventing him from doing wrong, and that is helping him.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Let us inshaa Allah follow in the footsteps of the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, his noble companions and the pious predecessors. Let us encourage one another to birr and taqwa. May Allah keep us steadfast and give us the best of Jannah… ameen.

I wrote this article some years ago for a South African Islamic Magazine, An-Nisaa.

Before I was married, I worked in a Muslim self-help group. In my five years there, I was involved in various family, youth and educational programmes for the community. It was hard work and often emotionally draining. Nevertheless, the experience was invaluable experience. It gave me an opportunity to work with passionate Muslims who wanted to make the world a better place – it was exciting and yet at the same time, humbling.

It was there that I truly opened my eyes to the problems that the ummah is facing. It was there that I came into contact with people who were poor and who were afflicted with problems that I had never even conceived of. It was also there that I saw heroic figures striving against almost insurmountable odds.

This world of ours that places a great emphasis on image and illusion often overlooks these anonymous souls who plod along with solid virtues and fervent hope. I have learnt many valuable lessons from these unsung heroes. One that comes to mind is the one about charity and selflessness…

Once, the self-help group organised a large trade fair. Among the activities conducted over the 3-day event was fundraising. It was no easy task – the volunteers had to stand with cash boxes for long hours and approach visitors for donations. Many generous souls gave but I noticed that a significant number refused. Still others would rush past the volunteers, pretending not to see or hear them.

An old lady walked close by as I was chatting to the volunteers. She was wearing shabby clothes and an old and faded headscarf . On her tired feet were slippers which were cheap and worn. In a crowd of fashionably dressed, if not affluent, people, she stood out like a sore thumb. Her poverty was so obvious that I could not help but feel sad. I felt guilty as well because I realised how I had not, before that, fully appreciated the comfort and ease that Allah had bestowed upon me.

The old lady had a kind smile and watched the volunteers as they tried to ask members of the public to donate. If she felt awkward about her shabby appearance or distressed about her needy state, she did not show it. She stood for a long while, staring wistfully, as if deep in thought. I began to wonder if she was thinking of approaching us for financial help. Many would attend the organisation’s events in the hope of joining a financial assistance programme.

Then, I saw her clutching something in her hand and closely examining it. I realised that she was busy counting some coins. Again, I felt a wave of sympathy – the poor lady was trying to figure out if she had enough for her bus ride home or for some food, I thought. I could not help but to compare her to all the others – they had come keen to spend unstintingly on all the pretty clothes, fancy housewares and delicious food, while she had to think more than twice about parting with only a few cents.

She then began to move resolutely to the volunteers, who smiled at her encouragingly. She dropped a few coins into the box hurriedly and smiled shyly. Sounding embarrassed and awkward at what she must have thought was a paltry amount, she said, “I know it isn’t much… I just wanted to help.”

I tear up every time I think of that old lady, who had so little and yet looked beyond her own needs because she wanted to give… because she wanted to do her bit. Her actions remind me of the hadeeth about the dirham that triumphed over the hundred thousand dirhams.

Abu Dawood and Al-Hakim reported that Abu Hurairah radhiallahu `anhu narrated that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: “A dirham won the race against a hundred thousand dirhams.” A man asked, “How, O Messenger of Allah?” He sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “A man who had great wealth and who spent a hundred thousand dirhams from it in charity, in contrast to a man who has only two dirhams and gave away one of them in charity.” [an-Nasa`i, ibn Khuzaimah & ibn Hibban – hasan]

Give and You will be Given!
That humble old lady, with all of her limited means, was a shining example of selflessness. As Muslims, we want to do our utmost to serve our Lord. We want to further the cause of Islam and we want to do it in a huge way. This is a noble ambition, but in our pursuit for the greater good and the big picture, we sometimes lose sight of the little deeds that may be our stepping stones to Jannah.

Abu Dharr radhiallahu `anhu reported: “The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, ‘Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother [Muslim] with a cheerful face.'” [Muslim]

There are numerous verses in the Qur`an that exhort us to spend in the cause of Allah. Charity is referred to as a “goodly loan” to inspire us and to encourage us to give – Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala said, “Who is he that will lend to Allah a goodly loan so that He may multiply it to him many times? And it is Allah that decreases or increases [your provisions] and unto Him you shall return.” [Surah al-Baqarah 2:45]

Allah has promised us a great reward for our altruism – “Those who spend on their wealth in the Cause of Allah, and do not follow up their gifts with reminders of their generosity or with injury, their reward is with their Lord. On them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” [Surah al-Baqarah 2:262]

In addition, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Allah the Exalted said, ‘Spend, O son of Adam and Allah will spend on you.'” [al-Bukhari & Muslim]

The Benefits of Sadaqah
Abu Dhar al-Ghifari once said, “The prayer is the pillar of Islam, Jihad is the pillar of deeds and charity is an amazing thing, charity is an amazing thing, charity is an amazing thing.” [Tanhibul Ghafilin] Indeed, there are abundant rewards in this act. Allah said, “The likeness of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is as the likeness of a grain [of corn], it grows seven ears and each year has a hundred grains. Allah gives manifold increase to whom He wills. And Allah is All Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knower.” [Surah al-Baqarah 2:261]

There are numerous rewards to be reaped from sadaqah. Allah has promised Paradise to those who give for His sake. Sadaqah helps to cleanse the Muslim’s heart of greed, stinginess and the excessive love of the pleasures of this world. It also cleanses the money and the body of sins – Allah said, “Take Sadaqah from their wealth in order to purify them and sanctify them with it.” [Surah at-Tawba 9:103]

Sadaqah extinguishes sins and punishment in the Fire. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Avoid hellfire even by a part of a date [that you give away in charity].” [al-Bukhari & Muslim] He also said, “Sawm [Fasting] is a junnah [shield] and sadaqah extinguishes sin, just as water extinguishes fire.” [Sahih at-Targhib wat-Tarhib, al-Albani]

Avoid Miserliness
Greed and selfishness often hinder us from giving to others. We dislike seeing our wealth diminish and we worry about poverty striking us. This shows a lack of tawakkul in Allah and His promises for Allah has assured us that He would compensate us, both in this world and the hereafter if we were to spend for His sake.

Abu Hurairah radhiallahu `anhu said that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Wealth is not diminished by giving in charity. Allah augments the honour of one who forgives; and one who displays humbleness towards another seeking the pleasure of Allah, Allah exalts him in ranks.” [Muslim]

In a hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhari, the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Who among you loves the wealth of his inheritors more than he loves his wealth?” They said, “Everyone among us loves his own wealth more, O Allah’s Messenger!” He said, “Verily one’s wealth is that which he spends while the money he keeps will end up with his inheritor.” This shows us that our wealth INCREASES when we give it away for it adds to our scale of good deeds.

We would do well to emulate the Salaf who were repulsed by tightfistedness. Umm al-Banin, daughter of `Abdul-`Aziz bin Marwan said, “Woe to al-Bukhl [miserliness]! If it was a shirt, I would never wear it and if it was a road, I would never take it.”

They never tired of charity and hated to turn the needy away. `Ali bin al-Hasan bin `Ali would say, when approached by the poor, “Welcome to he who is carrying my provisions for the Last Life.”

Women & Sadaqah
I would often hear women asking, not without some measure of frustration, “What can we sisters do for Islam?” True, there are the day to day hurdles that we face – managing a family, nurturing the children, caring for our elders, doing our utmost at school and in our careers… the list goes on. Our thoughts are occupied and our agendas full.

However, with a little creativity and dedication, we will find that there are many avenues for us. Charity is but one of them. Let us remember that the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam specifically encouraged the women to spend in the way of Allah. He said, “O women, give charity even from your jewellery.” [al-Bukhari]

He sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam also urged women to repel the Fire by giving: “O women! Give charity and seek Allah’s forgiveness frequently for I saw that you comprise the majority of the people of the fire.” [Muslim]

The female companions of the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam took his advice to heart. Umm Sinan al-Aslamiyah said that during the preparation for the Battle of Tabuk, she saw a cloak laid in front of the Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam on the floor of `Aishah’s radhiallahu `anha house. She said, “… it contained jewellery, bracelets, ear-rings and rings. [Muslim] women had donated these items that filled the cloak to help Muslims in preparation of the battle.” [Al-Isabah fi Tamyeez as-Sahabah, by Ibn Hajar, vol.4, p.350]

Even poverty did not deter them from giving. `Urwa radhiallahu `anhu said regarding `Aishah radhiallahu `anha: “I witnessed `Aishah give away 70 thousand but she would mend her garments.”

What Can We Do?
Let us not delay further in doing this good deed. There is a beautiful piece of advice from Amr bin Qais al-Milai, who said, “If you hear about an aspect of righteousness, perform it even once so that you become among its doers.”

Here are a few ideas on how we can give in charity:

[1] Actively seek out the needy person
`Ali bin al-Hasan used to carry bread on his back, following the needy at night, saying, “Charity given at night extinguishes the Lord’s anger.” [As-Siyar, vol. 4, p.393] Sisters can take an active role by making enquiries with masajid and various organisations that provide assistance for the needy. Many which serve the poor, the handicapped and the old are often in need of donations in cash and in kind to keep operations running. Set aside a certain amount from your income and allowance each month to give to these organizations. Spread the word and encourage other sisters to chip in.

[2] Care for the orphans & under-privileged
One can donate to orphanages or participate in various orphan sponsorship programmes in various poverty-stricken or war-torn countries such as Afghanistan, Chechnya, China, Africa and so on. If one’s finances do not permit, one can invite the poor and the orphans to a meal and share the favours that Allah has bestowed upon oneself. `Abdullah bin `Umar, for instance, always made sure that an orphan shared his meals. Remember what the Messenger of Allah said: “I and the caretaker of the orphan will be like this in Paradise,” and he pointed with his index and middle fingers. [al-Bukhari]

[3] Give what you love
This may be a particularly difficult task for surely, we want to keep what we love for ourselves. We would prefer to give away what we have no need of or no longer like. However, we must bear in mind that “By no means shall you attain Al-Birr [piety, righteousness, Paradise] unless you spend of what which you love; and whatever good you spend, Allah knows it well.” [Surah al-Imran 3:92]

I know of a sister in Pakistan who raises money for the poor by selling the good and expensive gifts she receives from others. Even though she could surely use some of the appliances and decoration pieces for herself, she keeps her life simple so she can concentrate on da`wah and charity.

[4] Take advantage of every opportunity
What can sisters who have no income or allowance do? Well, take heart for charity is not just financial. Abu Hurairah radhiallahu `anhu reported: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Every day the sun rises, charity is due on every joint of a person: if one judges between two persons with justice, it is an act of charity. If one helps a person to mount his beast, or helping him load his luggage on it, all this will be regarded as charity. A good word is an act of charity and every step one takes to offer the congregational prayer is regarded as charity and removing harm from the road is regarded as charity.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

[5] Be creative
There are numerous ways in which we can do charity – big and small. Each of us has our own skills, talents and inclinations. What we need to do is to take advantage of every opportunity. One can be kind to animals – we know of the unchaste woman who was granted Jannah for giving drink to a thirsty dog. We are also told that a smile is sadaqah.

Let us encourage each other to Birr and Taqwa.