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Get them outta the home!

January 10, 2005 by Imaan No Comments

A mother on a forum I frequent received an email that contained the following:

  • In-home caregivers tend to spend more time on management tasks and in restricting behaviour and may have fewer dedicated one-on-one interactions and planned and structured activities focused on developing the infants’ self-esteem and physical and cognitive abilities.
  • Infants in home-based care may watch considerably more television.
  • In-home caregivers generally pander to the children’s wants, often leading the children to assume that they are the centre of attention and that their every demand would be met.
  • More importantly, children in home-based care, particularly in the case where the caregiver is the maid or the nanny, also tend to think that adults are there to serve them. Once left unchecked, this attitude and assumption can be detrimental to the child’s further development, particularly their competency in social peer interactions.

I don’t know where this e-mailer got this information from, but I think that this is nothing but a load of crock. First of all, I don’t see any studies or statistics to back up these ludicrous over-generalised claims. And second, I really hate it when these people (whoever they are) question the parents’ abilities to parent their own children! Ohhhhh… QUICK! Let’s get these kids out of their homes and away from their families! Who knows what sort of damage is being inflicted upon these poor children in their homes!

“In-home caregivers tend to spend more time on management tasks and in restricting behaviour and may have fewer dedicated one-on-one interactions and planned and structured activities focused on developing the infants’ self-esteem and physical and cognitive abilities.”
A lot of big words… all designed to put a lot of self-doubt and instil a serious inferiority complex in mums who choose to take care of their kids. Is this person saying that we are a bunch of flustered, harried homemakers who put our children last on the list of priorities? Sorry, but most mums I know who stay at home do so because they put the needs of their children FIRST and want to make sure they get a head start in mental, intellectual and spiritual development. “One-on-one interactions and planned and structured activities focused on developing the infants’ self-esteem and physical and cognitive abilities”? That’s what stay-at-home moms DO GIVE their kids, not childcare facilities which cater to so many kids at a time!

“Infants in home-based care may watch considerably more television.”
Not in my home! We do NOT do TV at all, not for infants and toddlers at least! At any rate, I would say that too much TV is a problem in ANY home. It is not fair to single out infants or children in home-based care.

“In-home caregivers generally pander to the children’s wants, often leading the children to assume that they are the centre of attention and that their every demand would be met.”
OK, first it was not enough attention and now it’s too much attention?? And, AGAIN, tarring all stay-home caregivers with the same brush. So all in-home caregivers are spineless creatures who spoil their kids rotten and let them run around willy-nilly doing as they please? Come on! Since when is giving your child attention a crime?

“More importantly, children in home-based care, particularly in the case where the caregiver is the maid or the nanny, also tend to think that adults are there to serve them. Once left unchecked, this attitude and assumption can be detrimental to the child’s further development, particularly their competency in social peer interactions.”
This is really laughable. Many families with maids (in Singapore) still send their children to child-/day-care or school. Can the person who wrote this drivel do a study on whether these school-going children are hampered developmentally & socially?

I am not against childcare. I know some families really need it and it may be the only place where some children get any stimulation or education, but honestly, these shallow and unsubstantiated claims really annoy me. It is propaganda that seeks to convince us that children can only learn and socialize effectively when it is through THEIR system and it is the exact opposite of what many stay-at-home moms and home educators feel is vitally important – the absolute priority of the family as a unit and as the best place for a child to be educated.

I read and learn every day. I love my kid to bits. I know my kid. And you know what? Mothers ARE THE BEST PEOPLE TO TEACH THEIR KIDS.

Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.

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Yesterday, I had a sobering chat with my friend wh Yesterday, I had a sobering chat with my friend who is a member of a minority group here. (I am keeping things vague for her safety and mine.) She has a relative who is also a friend of mine. 

In both my early encounters with them, I’d always sensed an air of reserve and secrecy. I understood that we had different beliefs, but I could not understand what I perceived as fear. Not being a native here in Pakistan, I’d had my share of bewildering and unfathomable encounters, so I’d left things at that. Maybe I’d understand in time to come, I thought.

They had always been very kind to me and I tried to reciprocate as best I could. For all our (acknowledged) differences in opinion and belief, we found some common ground and focused on doing some good. My friend’s relative donated science kits as well as books for my homeschooling gang and I’ll always be grateful for that. 

I read news yesterday about how my friend and her people do in fact live in danger. She told me how she fears for her husband’s life every single time he leaves home. She jumps every single time her doorbell rings. She worries about sending her daughter to school for fear of bullying or worse… Target killings of her people are a reality.

It made me feel so ashamed because this is tragic and downright disgraceful for any country, but even more so for a Muslim one. 

It’s OK to disagree. It’s OK to debate. It is NOT OK to terrorize and it is NOT OK resort to violence. It is wrong and it is unjust and it is EVIL to do so. When dealing with people of different beliefs, can we not be civilised? Can we not be HUMAN? Can we not behave the way our deen taught us? 

We need to find a way to make things better. It is not right to allow people who know precious little about Islam to desecrate it. 

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#islam #minorityrights #knowyourreligion #pakistan
Journalists say this time it is different. Rushdi Journalists say this time it is different.

Rushdi as-Sarraj, Yasser Murtaja’s friend, told Al-Jazeera, “This task is difficult under normal circumstances, so you can imagine working under a fierce offensive that does not distinguish between a journalist, a civilian or a military leader.” Israel is working hard “to silence the image and voice, and to ban any news or information that exposes its crimes”.

He also says, “My family doesn’t stop calling me, fearing that I could be harmed. It is an endless circle of fear and exhaustion. But we must continue sharing our message.”

Praying for Muna El-Kurd @muna.kurd15 , her brother @mohammedelkurd and all the journalists putting out the truth. 

#palestine #freepalestine #freemunakurd #freemunaelkurd #savesheikhjarrah #savesilwan #savelifta #savemohammedelkurd
«THROWBACK, Summer + Winter 2019» «We returned «THROWBACK, Summer + Winter 2019»

«We returned to the park after the lockdown earlier this year… sadly our tree for all seasons is no more 😢»

FOREIGN LANDS by Robert Louis Stevenson
Up into the cherry tree
Who should climb but little me?
I held the trunk with both my hands
And looked abroad on foreign lands.
I saw the next door garden lie,
Adorned with flowers, before my eye,
And many pleasant places more
That I had never seen before.
If I could find a higher tree
Farther and farther I should see,
To where the grown-up river slips
Into the sea among the ships.
To where the roads on either hand
Lead onward into fairy land,
Where all the children dine at five,
And all the playthings come alive.
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#throwback #pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #naturejournal #science #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers
A couple of you asked me to make a post of my stor A couple of you asked me to make a post of my story in response to LV’s despicable use of the keffiyeh design. Pictures in this post are from hirbawi.ps and @palestine.pixel … 

EDIT: yes, my second slide should have been edited and it is bugging me. I repeated 1930s… sorry! If you want a more polished version, DM me. You get my meaning anyway, right? 
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#palestine #freepalestine #keffiyeh #gaza #jerusalem #savesheikhjarrah
«YET ANOTHER THROWBACK, Jan. 2020» I was feelin «YET ANOTHER THROWBACK, Jan. 2020»

I was feeling a little out of sorts (again) – I’d left the house a mess (again) and the boy and I were in a rush to get to the Art Co-op. Habiba @ourlivinghomeschool was doing a session on Wassily Kandinsky that day. 

We were delayed by a massive traffic jam and our stress levels rocketed when an obnoxious motorist kept sounding his horn repeatedly as if to shoo other cars out of the way. What was everyone else to do but wait for the jam to ease? 

We made it just in time though…barely! As we ran towards the gathering, it was as if a huge weight was lifted away. This gorgeous view greeted the boy and me, alhamdulillah. When we got down to studying Kandinsky, we felt more than fine.

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#pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #desidiaries #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers #artcoop #artoutdoors
«THROWBACK, Mar. 2019» Once upon a time before «THROWBACK, Mar. 2019» 
Once upon a time before Covid.

The calm before…

We had our Monday meet up again at Fatima Jinnah Park. The air was cool and crisp and the skies sunny when the nature gang got together. Then, it was on to a jolly game of Simon Says – Katelynn’s @_k8erpotater clever way of teaching the kids about body parts and how they move.

The kids did their usual tree climbing and exploring. Then, the dark clouds started rolling in. We took a while to decide whether or not to leave – the park literally looked dark and ominous on one side and cheery and bright on the other. We only started rushing for home when lightning split the sky. The kids were not to be hurried, however. They felt little pellets hitting them and stopped to investigate… hailstones!

Our ramble was cut short and I got cold and wet, but I think it was a gorgeous day. We got to learn about nature in a very real way.
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#pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #naturejournal #science #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers
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