A mother on a forum I frequent received an email that contained the following:

• In-home caregivers tend to spend more time on management tasks and in restricting behaviour and may have fewer dedicated one-on-one interactions and planned and structured activities focused on developing the infants’ self-esteem and physical and cognitive abilities.
• Infants in home-based care may watch considerably more television.
• In-home caregivers generally pander to the children’s wants, often leading the children to assume that they are the centre of attention and that their every demand would be met.
• More importantly, children in home-based care, particularly in the case where the caregiver is the maid or the nanny, also tend to think that adults are there to serve them. Once left unchecked, this attitude and assumption can be detrimental to the child’s further development, particularly their competency in social peer interactions.

I don’t know where this e-mailer got this information from, but I think that this is nothing but a load of crock. First of all, I don’t see any studies or statistics to back up these ludicrous over-generalised claims. And second, I really hate it when these people (whoever they are) question the parents’ abilities to parent their own children! Ohhhhh… QUICK! Let’s get these kids out of their homes and away from their families! Who knows what sort of damage is being inflicted upon these poor children in their homes!

“In-home caregivers tend to spend more time on management tasks and in restricting behaviour and may have fewer dedicated one-on-one interactions and planned and structured activities focused on developing the infants’ self-esteem and physical and cognitive abilities.”
A lot of big words… all designed to put a lot of self-doubt and instil a serious inferiority complex in mums who choose to take care of their kids. Is this person saying that we are a bunch of flustered, harried homemakers who put our children last on the list of priorities? Sorry, but most mums I know who stay at home do so because they put the needs of their children FIRST and want to make sure they get a head start in mental, intellectual and spiritual development. “One-on-one interactions and planned and structured activities focused on developing the infants’ self-esteem and physical and cognitive abilities”? That’s what stay-at-home moms DO GIVE their kids, not childcare facilities which cater to so many kids at a time!

“Infants in home-based care may watch considerably more television.”
Not in my home! We do NOT do TV at all, not for infants and toddlers at least! At any rate, I would say that too much TV is a problem in ANY home. It is not fair to single out infants or children in home-based care.

“In-home caregivers generally pander to the children’s wants, often leading the children to assume that they are the centre of attention and that their every demand would be met.”
OK, first it was not enough attention and now it’s too much attention?? And, AGAIN, tarring all stay-home caregivers with the same brush. So all in-home caregivers are spineless creatures who spoil their kids rotten and let them run around willy-nilly doing as they please? Come on! Since when is giving your child attention a crime?

“More importantly, children in home-based care, particularly in the case where the caregiver is the maid or the nanny, also tend to think that adults are there to serve them. Once left unchecked, this attitude and assumption can be detrimental to the child’s further development, particularly their competency in social peer interactions.”
This is really laughable. Many families with maids (in Singapore) still send their children to child-/day-care or school. Can the person who wrote this drivel do a study on whether these school-going children are hampered developmentally & socially?

I am not against childcare. I know some families really need it and it may be the only place where some children get any stimulation or education, but honestly, these shallow and unsubstantiated claims really annoy me. It is propaganda that seeks to convince us that children can only learn and socialize effectively when it is through THEIR system and it is the exact opposite of what many stay-at-home moms and home educators feel is vitally important – the absolute priority of the family as a unit and as the best place for a child to be educated.

I read and learn every day. I love my kid to bits. I know my kid. And you know what? Mothers ARE THE BEST PEOPLE TO TEACH THEIR KIDS.

Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.