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A lil chip on my shoulder

May 30, 2007 by Imaan 4 Comments

I am through with trying to please people. I have only myself to blame for any annoyance I feel because, well, I don’t know why I did a darn fool thing like try to begin with!

When I first made the decision to homeschool, I knew it was the right thing to do, but I confess, I lacked the courage to truly stand up for what I believed in. I was stuck in two modes – I was either trying to convince others that I wasn’t stone barmy and just about begging for their approval or plain trying to avoid any discussions on Ms M’s education because I was afraid that someone would point out my failings and inadequacies. I don’t know why I didn’t simply stick to my guns and have the gumption to just tell certain characters to mind their own business and leave us to our decisions. I don’t know why I felt I had to defend or explain myself.

Not everyone criticised me in an outright manner. Sometimes, I would get loaded questions that would make me literally bristle. One that would often crop up would be, “Does Ms M have friends?” This could be broken down into many other questions like:

  • “Don’t you think that she needs some friends?”
  • The poor thing doesn’t really have friends, does she?
  • … and the cruncher… Why don’t you send her to school where she can have more friends?

Trust me, I am not paranoid… I AM protective over my children (which mother is not?). However, I do appreciate good and constructive advice. I get intensely irritated by stupid (I know, it is a rude word to use, but I can’t think of a more appropriate one to be honest…) remarks by people who know nothing about homeschooling and have only preconceived notions.

I also dislike that my children and I are subject to intense scrutiny and criticism simply because we have chosen to try homeschooling. I am expected to be a super mum who is supremely well-balanced in every way while Ms M and Bear are expected to be ideal little angels who surpass their peers in every aspect of development and never ever slip up. I used to always feel anxious if they misbehaved and often over-reacted in chastising them… one of the reasons was that I knew sooner or later someone would remark that they need some schooling “like other (normal – yes I know they really mean to say this!) children”.

Now though, I think… stuff it.

Why should I put up with it? After all, it is awfully rude that people would judge and undermine without trying to understand in the least. I find it really unfair as well that such people feel that they can say as they please about homeschoolers without being concerned in the least about respect and wisdom. I wonder how these people would feel if I were to suggest HOMESCHOOLING the minute they mention any problem that they or their kids have with public school. I am quite sure my advice would not be well received.

I am tired of people feeling sorry for my children – a volunteer teacher who had met my children and me on all of maybe 3 occasions confided in me that she felt “sorry” for Ms M. Apparently, my daughter was too well-behaved in her workshop – obviously I had robbed her of her childhood!

I feel blessed for the few folks who have given me love and support… they have given me nothing but encouragement and this has translated into more positive homeschooling days for us. They have advised and yet, understood that we have problems and bad days like everyone else.

At the end of the day, we don’t have a spotless record and I am sure that in some people’s eyes, we will never measure up, but why should that pressure me? If my mission is to raise Muslimahs who are passionate about Islam and `ilm, who are driven and who are, to borrow a fellow homeschooler’s words, “life-long self-learners”, then I need to stop worrying about other people’s standards and criteria.

What I do need is to remind myself that I am answerable only to Allah. I need to better myself as a parent, facilitator and fellow student. I need to be stronger and not take out my insecurities on my children. They deserve better than that from me.

We have our highs and lows… we need to work very hard in the coming months to make up for lost time.

But in shaa Allah, we are OK… we are more than OK.

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Yesterday, I had a sobering chat with my friend wh Yesterday, I had a sobering chat with my friend who is a member of a minority group here. (I am keeping things vague for her safety and mine.) She has a relative who is also a friend of mine. 

In both my early encounters with them, I’d always sensed an air of reserve and secrecy. I understood that we had different beliefs, but I could not understand what I perceived as fear. Not being a native here in Pakistan, I’d had my share of bewildering and unfathomable encounters, so I’d left things at that. Maybe I’d understand in time to come, I thought.

They had always been very kind to me and I tried to reciprocate as best I could. For all our (acknowledged) differences in opinion and belief, we found some common ground and focused on doing some good. My friend’s relative donated science kits as well as books for my homeschooling gang and I’ll always be grateful for that. 

I read news yesterday about how my friend and her people do in fact live in danger. She told me how she fears for her husband’s life every single time he leaves home. She jumps every single time her doorbell rings. She worries about sending her daughter to school for fear of bullying or worse… Target killings of her people are a reality.

It made me feel so ashamed because this is tragic and downright disgraceful for any country, but even more so for a Muslim one. 

It’s OK to disagree. It’s OK to debate. It is NOT OK to terrorize and it is NOT OK resort to violence. It is wrong and it is unjust and it is EVIL to do so. When dealing with people of different beliefs, can we not be civilised? Can we not be HUMAN? Can we not behave the way our deen taught us? 

We need to find a way to make things better. It is not right to allow people who know precious little about Islam to desecrate it. 

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#islam #minorityrights #knowyourreligion #pakistan
Journalists say this time it is different. Rushdi Journalists say this time it is different.

Rushdi as-Sarraj, Yasser Murtaja’s friend, told Al-Jazeera, “This task is difficult under normal circumstances, so you can imagine working under a fierce offensive that does not distinguish between a journalist, a civilian or a military leader.” Israel is working hard “to silence the image and voice, and to ban any news or information that exposes its crimes”.

He also says, “My family doesn’t stop calling me, fearing that I could be harmed. It is an endless circle of fear and exhaustion. But we must continue sharing our message.”

Praying for Muna El-Kurd @muna.kurd15 , her brother @mohammedelkurd and all the journalists putting out the truth. 

#palestine #freepalestine #freemunakurd #freemunaelkurd #savesheikhjarrah #savesilwan #savelifta #savemohammedelkurd
«THROWBACK, Summer + Winter 2019» «We returned «THROWBACK, Summer + Winter 2019»

«We returned to the park after the lockdown earlier this year… sadly our tree for all seasons is no more 😢»

FOREIGN LANDS by Robert Louis Stevenson
Up into the cherry tree
Who should climb but little me?
I held the trunk with both my hands
And looked abroad on foreign lands.
I saw the next door garden lie,
Adorned with flowers, before my eye,
And many pleasant places more
That I had never seen before.
If I could find a higher tree
Farther and farther I should see,
To where the grown-up river slips
Into the sea among the ships.
To where the roads on either hand
Lead onward into fairy land,
Where all the children dine at five,
And all the playthings come alive.
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#throwback #pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #naturejournal #science #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers
A couple of you asked me to make a post of my stor A couple of you asked me to make a post of my story in response to LV’s despicable use of the keffiyeh design. Pictures in this post are from hirbawi.ps and @palestine.pixel … 

EDIT: yes, my second slide should have been edited and it is bugging me. I repeated 1930s… sorry! If you want a more polished version, DM me. You get my meaning anyway, right? 
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#palestine #freepalestine #keffiyeh #gaza #jerusalem #savesheikhjarrah
«YET ANOTHER THROWBACK, Jan. 2020» I was feelin «YET ANOTHER THROWBACK, Jan. 2020»

I was feeling a little out of sorts (again) – I’d left the house a mess (again) and the boy and I were in a rush to get to the Art Co-op. Habiba @ourlivinghomeschool was doing a session on Wassily Kandinsky that day. 

We were delayed by a massive traffic jam and our stress levels rocketed when an obnoxious motorist kept sounding his horn repeatedly as if to shoo other cars out of the way. What was everyone else to do but wait for the jam to ease? 

We made it just in time though…barely! As we ran towards the gathering, it was as if a huge weight was lifted away. This gorgeous view greeted the boy and me, alhamdulillah. When we got down to studying Kandinsky, we felt more than fine.

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#pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #desidiaries #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers #artcoop #artoutdoors
«THROWBACK, Mar. 2019» Once upon a time before «THROWBACK, Mar. 2019» 
Once upon a time before Covid.

The calm before…

We had our Monday meet up again at Fatima Jinnah Park. The air was cool and crisp and the skies sunny when the nature gang got together. Then, it was on to a jolly game of Simon Says – Katelynn’s @_k8erpotater clever way of teaching the kids about body parts and how they move.

The kids did their usual tree climbing and exploring. Then, the dark clouds started rolling in. We took a while to decide whether or not to leave – the park literally looked dark and ominous on one side and cheery and bright on the other. We only started rushing for home when lightning split the sky. The kids were not to be hurried, however. They felt little pellets hitting them and stopped to investigate… hailstones!

Our ramble was cut short and I got cold and wet, but I think it was a gorgeous day. We got to learn about nature in a very real way.
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#pakistan #islamabad #lifeinpakistan #lifeinislamabad #homeschool #homeschooldays #homeschoolcoop #homeschoolinislamabad #homeschoolinpakistan #naturediary #naturejournal #science #charlottemason #charlottemasoninspired #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonnaturestudy #charlottemasonliving #charlottemasonhomeschool #cmnaturestudy #cmnaturejournal #naturewalk #natureramble #naturestudy #naturejournal #homeeducation #outandabout #ilookisee #islamabadhomeschoolers
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