Dear Internet Service Provider,

It has taken me all of 20 minutes to download a document of less than 10MB. I honestly feel like I’ve gone back to my dial-up days … you know, back when we had those modems that made those ridiculous dialling sounds? Yes, you must be looking back fondly on that good old era when you charged even crazier money for even worse connection speeds. You can’t really believe that the service you are providing actually qualifies as broadband connection. Now quit being muppets and fix the silly thing already.